Having to ride public transportation everyday to work sucks, actually, riding in the train or bus sucks in general. Mainly on public transportation, I read, listen to music or play games on my phone, anything to not focus on the jerk next to me! And yes, the people who ride public transportation can be jerks, bums, stinks, skanks, misfits, troublemakers, hooligans and a lot of other adjectives. Typically, one can enjoy a ride on the train without a problem but sometimes you run into these folks...
5. Dancers & Dealers
You run into these people on the train more times than not and they are annoying as hell. First off the Dealers, always got something to sell for some basketball team they claim to coach. "Excuse me Ladies and Gentlemen but I am raising money by selling old ass candy that nobody wants for two dollars a piece. I coach an inner city youth basketball team and I need to raise money so they can play and have team jerseys like the other kids. Whatever you're willing to spare, I appreciate it...Thank you in advance"! First off, never thank me in advance you shoeless hoe! People say thanks in advance like I owe them the favor, well if you thank me in advance I have no incentive to do the favor later. Secondly, if you are the coach, with one braid in your head and the rest out in a fro with two left sneakers one the same foot and carrying a dirty duffle bag, I'd say it be time for you to retire from your dusty ass career. If you are the coach, which I highly doubt you are, I'd wouldn't want my kid playing under your guidance, so beat it scum.
Dancers are no better. Always got a song and dance that both sucks and sucks. If you're gonna sing and dance I want your ass practicing everyday to get the timing down right and you better not forget one lyric! They crip walk through the train singing how their President is black and for this I should give them a quarter. Well if you had a quarter of talent I would, but since you don't, I won't. Come dance by me if you want and I'll push your Harlem Shaking ass onto the train tracks.
4. The Rapper
I hate this person the most! You've all seen him or her, but usually it's a guy. He's the dude on the train or bus with the music blasting, bopping his big head to the beat of the song. The worst part is when they sporadically start reciting lyrics. The bus will be dead silent and then you here something like "Fuck that bitch cuz I carries the full clip." What, sir!?! And then it gets silent again and you hear, "Moving heavy weight like in every state." And he just keeps on bopping along, swaying into your leg and shit. SMH. Just sit your ass down and remain quiet! It's also funny how the appearance of headphones can make someone not look crazy. If you seen someone with headphones (people who are usually lip-singing the song or bopping their heads) without the headphones but acting as if the headphones were on, you would think they were crazy! If somebody just screamed out a Nicki Minaj rap lyric with no headphones on, you would think they were bat shit crazy. However, wearing $500 Dre Beats makes them normal!
3. Ninja
The ninja is quick and at times very slow, to the point it upsets you. You ever walk to an open seat only to have somebody rush by you and steal the seat! Damn son, this ain't Musical Chairs. Or you're about to walk on the bus or train and they run by and squeeze past you to get on first, as if the train or bus doesn't stop to let people on?? Then you try getting off the bus or train and the same person is now taking forever to walk through the door, like I don't have to transfer...move your slow-fast ass!
2. The Crazies
It's always a crazy person on the train, rarely on the bus but always on the train. I think many of them never walk up to the surface, they just sit on the train and bother people. I ran into a guy who kept saying, "Jets, Dolphins" then he would pause and scream "Kick Ass". I was trying so hard not to laugh but I just couldn't help it. It's funny because the other passengers start to look at each other and make faces, trying not to look the crazy in the eye. Once a crazy sees you look him into the face, it's on! He'll curse you out, your family out, your God out, your pet out, that only he can see by the way. And you don't want to get up and move because the thought of him following you is disturbing, so you just sit idly by, pretending not to hear but he knows you hear him!
1. Stinks
It is nothing worst in the world then a stink on your bus or train ride home. I would rather have a child with Casey Anthony then have to ride everyday, to and fro, with a stink! The worst part is when the stink is in remission and the smell suddenly appears! Everyone starts to cover their nose and you find people looking at you, silently accusing you of being the stink. Oh no!! I look at them and start fanning my personal air, to let them know that I smell it also and to show that it isn't me! I start to yawn or stretch to also indicate that my underarms are free of any rotten smells, but sometimes they still look at you and back away. Sometimes I just want to scream, "Hey bitch, it's not me, maybe it's you!" These stinks can be hidden, causing all kinds of turmoil. Sometimes though it is evident who the stink is on the ride! Nobody sits next to him or her, and the stink knows they stink but they usually don't care. It's hard to imagine a human smelling like a dogs butt fart mixed with shit from all animals but they find out how to get it done! Worse still is when a stink is standing in front of you and has the ball sweating audacity to reach up and grab the top rail for balance. Oh, you stinking piece of human flesh! I vow to punch that person in the ribs if it ever happens again!
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
The Coonie's - BiLLy Swagner x Morrow Damour
Happy New Year's! 2012's first blog is an award show called "The Coonie's" which highlights coonish behavior all around the globe during the past year. There's finally an award show that gives credit to ignorant, idiotic celebs that showcase their natural born dubmbassedness! I'm making that a word to describe these folk!
According to Urban Dictionary's third definition, yes the third one, a coon is a black actor or actress, who takes roles that stereotypically portrays black people. They think they've made it but they are slaves to the same images. But we'll be expanding on that definition as follows: any person who stereotypically portray themselves purposefully in a negative light or parade around looking for acceptance by another group, either racial, religious or otherwise. Sports, television, politics, film and music are littered with dimwitted monkey's and a winner will be crowned in each category. So without further to do, I bring to you...The Coonie's!
Sports
1. Sammy Sosa
You know you done fucked up right!?! So former Chicago Cub player Sammy Sosa decided he was tired of being brown skin and threw some Clorox on his face. From corked bats to steriods, we all knew Sammy was use to cheating but trying to sneak inside The White Race by bleaching his skin was a bad move! No bueno senor!
2. Michael Jordan
The all-time great basketball player is a piss-poor humanitarian. It's true that he worked hard and blah, blah, blah, but he currently makes millions and millions of dollars by selling the same shoe to idiots, whom sit outside out of Footlocker days before the sneaker's release. But how many times have you senn Jordan give a speech at an inner city school or donate money to any one of the trillion basketball camps in Brooklyn or Chicago or anywhere for that matter? Jordan demanded millions of dollars as a player and rightfully so but now that he's an NBA owner of the Bobcat's, he's saying that player's should be gratefully and let the owner's make their money! Kinda dirty homie!
http://www.cbssports.com/mcc/blogs/entry/22748484/33209166
3. Tiger Woods
This fake ass black monkey makes me sick. Although his BLACK father taught how to play golf, he doesn't admit or acknowledge his black heritage. Recently he was caught cheating on his wife with 105 different white women...http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/hear-tiger-panic-to-mistress-my-wife-may-be-calling-you-2009212
You right, this was huge and she did call that hoe, serves ya punk ass right! Not only did she call you but she chased ya ass out the house with a golf club and made you crash into a tree, I guess this was the Asian inside controlling the car.
Winner: Sammy Sosa's fake white ass. Lookin like a big ass tube of Colgate, you sicken me.
Television/Film
1. Tyler Perry
I personally hate him and Madea. If I see another Madea goes here, Madea's big this, Madea's big that, I'm going to kill myself. How about Madea Goes to Hell and Burn Forever. He takes every stereotype of angry black women and throws it in a play with bad jokes and then re-releases the same shit in movie theaters! And then, he came out with a crap ass television show with the same stupid nonsense.
2. Taraji P. Henson
I actually like Taraji Henson as an actress but I don't know what the hell she was thinking to agree to perform this number at the Oscar's...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9j2wTR49Ec
The Oscar's are typically attended by predominately by white actor's, screenwriters and director's. It's hard to fathom that any one of them wanted to see or hear this coonery, probably only to laugh at what some black people would do for a check. Three 6 Mafia please quit, hang up the mic and don't ever rap again, don;t even freestyle in the shower. This was some stereotypical black foolishness. I can't even watch the video again to give commentary because it's just too idiotic.
3. Terrence Howard
First of all I dislike Terrence Howard due to his sub-par acting ability.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9j2wTR49Ec
He also had a problem with Tyler Perry doing Madea but then turned around and put out Hustle & Flow. I never seen the movie but from the looks of previews I'm pretty sure it was about a wannabe rapper who had an afro with a perm and only wore wife beaters!
Winner: Tyler Perry - He's actually a double coon for bieng himself, Tyler and also as Madea the Ghetto Ass Black Grandma who smokes weed and carries a gun in her pocket book but loves the lord.
New Coon Award
Herman Cain
I absolutely hate this punk ass politician. Here's a clip showing our man Cain spit that Coon Knowledge.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLt6c-lhCww
He's Anti-Barack! How can you say something like racism doesn't hold people back when the jail systems are full of black people literally being held back. It's true that many that are incarcerated do commit crimes, BUT, many blacks, as well as Hispanics receive more time for the same crime. Example: Connor (white kid) is caught with three grams of cocaine, sentenced to a month probation and his record cleaned. Tyriq (black kid) gets caught with a dime bag of Mary J and his thrown in prison for two years with no parole and his voting abilities stripped away. Since Tyriq may be unemployed, the judge says that Tyriq intended on selling that nickle bag of green and he should be punished! Blah, blah, blah. I had some blacks work at my pizzeria and that's how I know racism doesn't exist. In another interview Cain claims that Wall Street wasn't responsible for this horrible economy. What? He basically is saying, "Hello Rich Men, see how I get on my knees for you, I love this kinda work"! So I guess predatory lending, the housing bubble, deregulation of the housing market and Wall Street, with their use of derivatives had nothing to do with anything! AIG, Freddie Mac and others just made some bad business decisions, went bankrupt, threw people out of homes and then got bailed out by American taxpayer's only to have their salaries tripled and bonuses double? Yes, on second thought that's just good old American Capitalism at work...the rich capitalize off the poor!
Lifetime Achievement
Clarence Thomas
This is basically Herman Cain but much more sinister! He was appointed Supreme Judge by the one and only black people-lover George W. Bush! He's against things like affirmative action but not against sexual abuse, just ask Anita Hill. He then married a white women who was both a Republican and also Tea Party advocate named Virginia; even his wife had to be named after a Southern State. It's too much to say in too little time, just read up on this lifetime great coon!
According to Urban Dictionary's third definition, yes the third one, a coon is a black actor or actress, who takes roles that stereotypically portrays black people. They think they've made it but they are slaves to the same images. But we'll be expanding on that definition as follows: any person who stereotypically portray themselves purposefully in a negative light or parade around looking for acceptance by another group, either racial, religious or otherwise. Sports, television, politics, film and music are littered with dimwitted monkey's and a winner will be crowned in each category. So without further to do, I bring to you...The Coonie's!
Sports
1. Sammy Sosa
You know you done fucked up right!?! So former Chicago Cub player Sammy Sosa decided he was tired of being brown skin and threw some Clorox on his face. From corked bats to steriods, we all knew Sammy was use to cheating but trying to sneak inside The White Race by bleaching his skin was a bad move! No bueno senor!
2. Michael Jordan
The all-time great basketball player is a piss-poor humanitarian. It's true that he worked hard and blah, blah, blah, but he currently makes millions and millions of dollars by selling the same shoe to idiots, whom sit outside out of Footlocker days before the sneaker's release. But how many times have you senn Jordan give a speech at an inner city school or donate money to any one of the trillion basketball camps in Brooklyn or Chicago or anywhere for that matter? Jordan demanded millions of dollars as a player and rightfully so but now that he's an NBA owner of the Bobcat's, he's saying that player's should be gratefully and let the owner's make their money! Kinda dirty homie!
http://www.cbssports.com/mcc/blogs/entry/22748484/33209166
3. Tiger Woods
This fake ass black monkey makes me sick. Although his BLACK father taught how to play golf, he doesn't admit or acknowledge his black heritage. Recently he was caught cheating on his wife with 105 different white women...http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/hear-tiger-panic-to-mistress-my-wife-may-be-calling-you-2009212
You right, this was huge and she did call that hoe, serves ya punk ass right! Not only did she call you but she chased ya ass out the house with a golf club and made you crash into a tree, I guess this was the Asian inside controlling the car.
Winner: Sammy Sosa's fake white ass. Lookin like a big ass tube of Colgate, you sicken me.
Television/Film
1. Tyler Perry
I personally hate him and Madea. If I see another Madea goes here, Madea's big this, Madea's big that, I'm going to kill myself. How about Madea Goes to Hell and Burn Forever. He takes every stereotype of angry black women and throws it in a play with bad jokes and then re-releases the same shit in movie theaters! And then, he came out with a crap ass television show with the same stupid nonsense.
2. Taraji P. Henson
I actually like Taraji Henson as an actress but I don't know what the hell she was thinking to agree to perform this number at the Oscar's...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9j2wTR49Ec
The Oscar's are typically attended by predominately by white actor's, screenwriters and director's. It's hard to fathom that any one of them wanted to see or hear this coonery, probably only to laugh at what some black people would do for a check. Three 6 Mafia please quit, hang up the mic and don't ever rap again, don;t even freestyle in the shower. This was some stereotypical black foolishness. I can't even watch the video again to give commentary because it's just too idiotic.
3. Terrence Howard
First of all I dislike Terrence Howard due to his sub-par acting ability.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9j2wTR49Ec
He also had a problem with Tyler Perry doing Madea but then turned around and put out Hustle & Flow. I never seen the movie but from the looks of previews I'm pretty sure it was about a wannabe rapper who had an afro with a perm and only wore wife beaters!
Winner: Tyler Perry - He's actually a double coon for bieng himself, Tyler and also as Madea the Ghetto Ass Black Grandma who smokes weed and carries a gun in her pocket book but loves the lord.
New Coon Award
Herman Cain
I absolutely hate this punk ass politician. Here's a clip showing our man Cain spit that Coon Knowledge.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLt6c-lhCww
He's Anti-Barack! How can you say something like racism doesn't hold people back when the jail systems are full of black people literally being held back. It's true that many that are incarcerated do commit crimes, BUT, many blacks, as well as Hispanics receive more time for the same crime. Example: Connor (white kid) is caught with three grams of cocaine, sentenced to a month probation and his record cleaned. Tyriq (black kid) gets caught with a dime bag of Mary J and his thrown in prison for two years with no parole and his voting abilities stripped away. Since Tyriq may be unemployed, the judge says that Tyriq intended on selling that nickle bag of green and he should be punished! Blah, blah, blah. I had some blacks work at my pizzeria and that's how I know racism doesn't exist. In another interview Cain claims that Wall Street wasn't responsible for this horrible economy. What? He basically is saying, "Hello Rich Men, see how I get on my knees for you, I love this kinda work"! So I guess predatory lending, the housing bubble, deregulation of the housing market and Wall Street, with their use of derivatives had nothing to do with anything! AIG, Freddie Mac and others just made some bad business decisions, went bankrupt, threw people out of homes and then got bailed out by American taxpayer's only to have their salaries tripled and bonuses double? Yes, on second thought that's just good old American Capitalism at work...the rich capitalize off the poor!
Lifetime Achievement
Clarence Thomas
This is basically Herman Cain but much more sinister! He was appointed Supreme Judge by the one and only black people-lover George W. Bush! He's against things like affirmative action but not against sexual abuse, just ask Anita Hill. He then married a white women who was both a Republican and also Tea Party advocate named Virginia; even his wife had to be named after a Southern State. It's too much to say in too little time, just read up on this lifetime great coon!
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