Top 5 Worst Athlete Rappers!

5. Macho Man Randy Savage

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMbcOC5dS5k

This is the wrestler Macho Man Randy Savage dissing Hulk Hogan on wax. You can hear the steriods all in his voice. I guess he really wanted a wrestling match! It's funny how this diss song by a middle-aged white rapper sounds more like hip-hop than many of today's artists. All he needs is a unique ad-lib to match his Rick Ross beard. This is Hit Em Up, Clap back, the Ether before the Ether. Hogan didn't want it and never came back!

4. Roy Jones Jr.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWIqZKhNY90

Not only is this a bad song, but it's also a horrible video. He has too much pubic hair on his chest for him to stand there with no shirt on! And then he starts off with that super hard bop, so full of force he has to close his eyes and bite his lip, aayyee buddy!! And why is he standing so stiff? Snatching off his shades like a fake ass James Bond! The entire song is how he beat people up and got cheated out of a fight and blah, blah blah. One thing I won't forget is how bad off a rapper you are!!

3. Allen Iverson aka Jewelz

A.I. took it to another level and actually came up with a corny rap name to match his corny lyrics. I will say the commercial with Jada wasn't that bad, but 40 bars on the other hand...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBrbMj0eyqM

His flow is non-existent! And of course he talks about everything any other rapper ever talks about. A row of Bentley's, messing with chicks and holding two 45's! As he says, "Everybody stay fly, get money, kill and fuck  bitches!" With lyrics like those I'm surprised he has never won a Grammy, I mean at least give my man a nomination! I know he has friends but apparently nobody said, "Yo this sounds wack", so he dropped an entire LP! Practice, we talking about practice, no, we talking about your three minute rap career! Don't ever rap again!

2. The Chicago Bears for The Super Bowl Shuffle

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x27ykw_chicago-bears-superbowl-shuffle_music

The Bears made the list as a staff, record label and a crew, RIP Tupac! I understand you guys won the Super Bowl but under no circumstance at all should you have come out with a rap song. We have Walter Payton saying running the ball is like making sweet romance? Really hoe? Is running around a group of sweaty men that's trying to jump on you and tackle you, like romance? Maybe for Elton John it is! You see Mike Singletary two steppin' in those thick framed glasses? Football players are too big to be standing around trying to shuffle, leave that too a 5'8, 170 lb person!

1. Kobe Bryant




First off what rapper you know looks like this! He looks like a super gay Pinocchio! My man is wearing a headband, wristband with a top hat and a bow tie and has the audacity to be in all white! I prayed for you Kobe but I guess that prayer went unanswered! And that V-neck is is touching his stomach, mighty suspect homie, mighty suspect!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMJ7bGnKT-0

This song features none other than 50 Cent. Now when I say that this song is laugh out loud bad, it's worst! Please listen, if you don't listen to any other song, listen to this! With lyrics like, "I'm gonna hop in ya brain, tell you what you thinking" he sounds like a retarded kid that's also on drugs! A Thug Poet? No you aren't, you're a good basketball player that's a horrible, terrible, all other negative adjectives rolled into one, rapper. "Wavin' the flow, flow", my dead dog is a better rapper than Kobe Bryant! This song alone will be the sole reason that you're never better than Jordan!

Top 5 Worst Commercials

Advertisements are everywhere! On the bus, train, magazines, and of course, television. Companies spend lots of money to try and get you to give them your hard earned money. It's like little kids running around screaming look at my toy, no look at my toy! Some commercials are great because they're funny and provide some sort of entertainment in between scenes of your favorite show! Some commercials make me want to kill myself and throw my television outside the window! From white rappers, to hood rat college girls to stupid songs about stupid products and straight lies, it's all here in this list. Note: Please click and watch commercial prior to reading! Now back to your regularly scheduled programming list!

5. McNugget Love

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtaS60uIQUc

This commercial at least will make you chuckle, because it's so stupid, but it won't make you want to get up and get any of these nasty nuggetss that are probably made with pigeon feet! First off, you notice how he's talking about waking up and finding his girl cheating but says, "Are you dippin' on me?" It's funny how they went out of there way to even add an ad-lib! He goes on too sing to this chick who says' "Nice song" Really hoe? Is it really a nice song? Then he proceeds to grab the nuggets and say "Don't be stingggggggggyyyyyyyyy" And she responds by being stingy! That last rift in the song was something serious, fake ass Wanya, Boyz II Men clown. Funny how most R&B singers today can't make a song this good tho!

4. Sun Drop

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXLN8oRBkak&feature=related

This commercial is stupid as hell. The name of their soda sounds like cheap laundry detergent. Then they have the dumbest white girl in the world trying to "Drop It" I also hate the fact that they're using this old ass song? I get it, Drop is in the product's name, so what! This is exactly the reason why white people get teased about not being able to dance. And what the hell is she wearing?? I wanted that boat to crash so badly!! And all Sun Drop is, is a knock off Mountain Dew and Sprite!

3. Sweet Surprise, The Government Lies

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W40yHDFxkAY

This commercial is ridiculous and not at all accurate. First off, high fructose corn syrup is in ninety-nine percent of everything you eat and drink, just check your fridge if you think I'm lying, it's therefore almost impossible to eat in moderation. And he only didn't say anything back because he wants to smash, and he needs to see how you handle that Popsicle! Check these two links out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpGvrnjgSI4&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TTfCE1QfYg

2. Everest College

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZtgIHVR_0w

If you go to this college, shoot yourself in the face with a gun! If you want to enroll in this college, shoot yourself twice in the face! First off lady, if your college is housed in one building, the professors are retards posing as intellectuals! Registration first floor, classes, second floor, cafeteria, third floor, and that's it, no gym, no library, no offices, you graduate by surviving the walk to and from school. That lady didn't teach you everything, if she had, she would've told you to go to a community college, not just some school that's in a community. Smells like you'll be cooking with Adobo for the rest of your life, and yes, I know that's mean!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12YQy0suTP4&NR=1

And why does she look like she did this commercial from prison!

1. T-Mobile NBA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMxky3BpG1c

The person that thought this up should be fired and cursed to use a the first generation sidekick for the rest of his/her life and their kids should get pushed off a bridge! Everything about this commercial makes me want to vomit! The beat sounds horrible and the guy rapping is a clown, a small beanie wearing clown. The girl is standing there bopping along but she's wishing that he shuts the hell up. You can barely hear what this kid is saying and he looks like a dying grasshopper! Let Charles Barkley and D-Wade do the promos T-Mobile, I switched service providers because of this one stupid song!

Our World

When will people wake up and realize whats going on!! We have been reduced to materialistic, television watching junkies! People are judged by the things they own and not the person they are! We've been taught that we ourselves, as individuals, are no good, worthless sinners! Is that really true? Our education system is a joke, universities are in the business of indoctrinating students and making money. Why does a diploma, a piece of paper with a school name on it, costs upwards to $100,000? Additionally, these bachelor degrees are becoming useless! The guy flipping burgers has a degree in Economics from Temple University and the girl mopping up your spilled Orange soda got a degree at Devry! Okay, if you graduate from Devry you basically have reached the pinnacle of your working career being a janitor at Wendy's! Capitalism basically works as follows: Listen guy/girl you're too ugly, fat or broke to achieve anything in life so buy this product to look prettier, lose weight and look like a celebrity. They start you off young, advertising products that you have no money to buy, but it doesn't matter, because marketers know kids will ask their parents for stuff! When you get older, you graduate from college and work in a career field that has nothing to do with your major. Most people work jobs they hate to spend money they don't have on things they don't need and then complain about being broke! Welcome to Capitalism suckers!

Then you reach military age! This is particularly important because we need people to go fight for our freedoms! We also need people to fight to get our oil, protect our interests and spread democracy! Peep this, the most important asset to our Republic, The United States, is the military. Just google the budget that's used to run the military. They view people in the military as expendable, how do you think they view you! i'll tell you....as a consumer, a walking talking ATM machine! You're also viewed as a worker, a person to be used to work for some company and help make the company millions and billions of dollars.

And when you become stressed, sick in your old age or wanting to retire....you can't! First off, you'll have to work to buy the medicine that you'll have to take everyday once you do get sick! Medicine is another name for drugs, but can be sold legally, which in this country doesn't make it a drug any longer but medicine, liqour or cigarettes! Thousands of commercials are advertised daily to get you to ask your doctor for some little colored pill! These pills don't cure you but do just enough to stop the symptoms for a couple of hours while giving you twelve side effects, like webbed feet.

After twenty years of having to take five pills everyday and living in a hospital for your last couple years of life you'll die! I don't know what most of you guys believe but it doesn't matter because you'll be dead but hopefully there's a place better than this after we go. So ask yourself, is life really about working everyday to buy worthless shit, chasing after girls/guys to grow up and live a life your not proud of?? Bailout plans that cost 700 billion dollars, paid by working people to multi-billion dollar companies, kids dying in the street of starvation, although we have an entire food network channel in the U.S, wars fought for oil and profits...wake up people, most people will live out a nightmare before they ever experience the American Dream!

Things We All Hate

This of a laundry list of small things we all experience and dislike! The smallest things can make you crazy, feel free to leave any other pet peeves by commentating!

-Running out of Ink

You ever have a pen and pad and try to write and the pen just says, "I quit" and stop working in the middle of a sentence? Then what does everyone do? Draw those little circles on the sides of the paper! Then you end up with 15 small circles all over the paper and the pen still doesn't work where you need it to!

-The Disabled

This one is a little messed up, but true nonetheless! You ever been on the bus, going to work or school, a place you have to be by a certain time, and someone in a wheelchair gets aboard? I hate this, I am sensitive to people but damn, doesn't the wheelchair  have wheels? Drive your ass to work! Don't you want to just take off one of those legs that doesn't work and bash them over the head! The bus definitely will be thirty minutes late, and hopefully they get off after you, if not that's an extra thirty minutes.

-Train People

Why is it that all bums on the train got a song or dance when the get on? Or it's the infamous, "Excuse me today but I'm selling candy for a basketball team!" Maaannnn, you don't got no damn basketball team, you're not even wearing socks and shoes, who would let you coach any kid! And if it is true and you're selling candy, then get some candy people will actually want, like some M&M's or Reese's Cups, not that three cent crap with no name! Train people stink really bad too. You ever notice how train people smell like spinach and gay sex? And they lie, some guy told me he was blind...I said lets go above ground and walk across a busy intersection! If he crosses the street then he lied and if he gets hit I'll leave, because I'm still not giving you money!

- The #1 or #2

This is mainly for guys, I don't know if women can relate! You ever go to the restroom and have to pee really bad but when you're standing there it also feels like you gotta take a poop but you're standing and already started to piss? It's a bad situation ladies, you all already sit so it doesn't matter. Us men get nervous, you just have to tighten them cheeks and pray!

- The Street Cross

This one is mainly for black people, and other minorities, I don't know if whites can relate! You ever been taking a casual stroll down the street and see a white person approaching and they cross the street? Doesn't that get you upset!?! The funny thing to me is the fact that if we were gonna harm them or rob them, crossing the street doesn't do too much to prevent it! Why not cross the street, then go around the corner and then run down an alley? That way you're safe and I can't see you! When the light turns green guess what, I can cross the street!! I may even jaywalk to get to you! Next time cross the street with them and see what they do! There's also times you may be walking past someone in a parking lot and you'll hear the car doors lock! Racism never sounded so sweet! I guess minorities are not smart enough to break the window to get in!

-Ghetto Appliances

You ever go to someone's house and everything is slightly broken! Things work, but just work in a weird way. Like if you're trying to open the front door and right before you do you hear, "You gotta twist it left then right, pick it up and then pull the doorknob or it'll break if you don't!" Or after you use the bathroom, " You gotta keep shaking the flush handle until you hear a click, if not the toilet will overflow!" Or maybe you're washing your hands and the water isn't getting hot, "You gotta turn on the tub and the sink water, flick the lights on and off, turn in a semi-circle and then the water gets warm, if not the water pipe will break!" It's like damn, I'll never come to this house again!

-The Rewind Button

-This is for people who grew up watching movies via VCR! Remember when you were young and wanted to watch a movie and had to find the tape! First off, that was a two hour ordeal because people would never put the tape in the right box! The Little Rascals tape would be in the Homeward Bound box or The Ace Ventura movie would be in The 101 Dalmations box! After finding the movie, you slap it in and sit on the couch and what happens? The movie is all the way at the end! You get up and press rewind and it takes three hours for the movie to go back ten minutes, so you have to press stop; then rewind and then press play to see where you are! It gets to the point where you don't even want to watch the movie and you go outside and play!

- Food Thief

This is by far the most disrespectful thing on the list. You ever come home from work or running errands and you're hungry, thirsty and have your mind set on something you left in the fridge? You walk into the kitchen and see the wrapper and bottle in the trash! And what upsets me is the fact that someone threw it on top of the trash, didn't even take the time to hide the evidence! Don't you just want to cry?

-The Pee-pee Dance

You ever be running home and have to use the bathroom and realize you don't have your keys! You start fidgeting around looking for keys, getting nervous you may piss yourself and of course everyone that lives on your block is outside that day! The worst part is that you know people are home but nobody is answering the door! Then when they come, you run by them dropping your bags and what not, while still running to the bathroom. One time, when I was young, this happened! I got all the way to the toilet and still pissed myself, oh the irony, the yellow piss filled irony!

-Dirty Jeans

You ever see someone, or have been ironing jeans yourself and after ten minutes you get this weird aroma?  You begin to look around or try smelling the iron to locate the source of the stench? Well smell those jeans buddy! When you iron dirty jeans it smells like pennies and cat pee, bad combo!

Top 5 Things To Do When Ordering Chinese!

Who likes to cook during the hot summer months? Nobody that's who!! My family and I usually order out a little more due to the fact that my mother and grandmother cook less and I don't cook at all! Being from Philly, I can always go for a good cheese steak with some fries, however, I do enjoy a tasty pepperoni pizza from time to time. Living in the inner city, you're bound to come across a Chinese store or two or 300 and during those lazy dog days of summer when you're not up to walking down the street for some grub, ordering Chinese food is a great convenience. Although, placing an order seems quite simple, it can be a hassle but  following these five steps will ensure great food with a smile!

5. Location

Right off the bat, one of the most important things to consider when ordering Chinese food is where you want the food delivered. The problem with poor people in the hood is the fact that they always are trying to get things for free. Some people order food to a neighbor's house, meet the delievery man outside and steal the food. Most delivery men has had this happen or heard about it happeneing to someone else. It's the same problem when ordering a cab. The delivery man wants to ensure safety and thus will not deliver to certain places, namely the hood!

4. Payments

This works in two different ways. First, please tip your delivery man, it costs sixty dollars or so to fill a Mitsubishi, Suzuki or whatever cars they drive! If you don't want to tip, walk your lazy ass down the street. I know there's at least three Chinese Stores in a two block radius from most of you reading this! Moreover, if you don't tip China Men, they will not leave your door. I had a guy ring the doorbell again! They don't care...a China Man will sleep in his car all night until you come out and ask for his tip! Secondly, if you're not going to leave a tip, have the exact change. China Men are notorious for not giving back change, they'll assume any extra monies are for a tip. They'll always say they don't have any change to give you, and unless you plan on going through his pockets, you're gonna have to take that loss! So if I ever plan to not tip a China Man, I have the exact change to the penny and I close the door as soon as the money is in his hands, so he doesn't question me about a tip!

3. Only Chicken Wings

I don't want to use the sterotype that Chinese Stores cook stray dogs or cats when making meat but I will say their meat tastes like street pigeons or squirrel ears! My mother told me when I was new to ordering Chinese food to not order a cheese steak, of course I ordered it, figuring it couldn't be that bad...WRONG! What I put in my mouth couldn't be classified as meat! Don't trust it unless it's chicken wings! At least the chicken tastes like chicken, shrimp is also okay to eat from the China Man. If you order any other meat, you're taking your life into your own hands, beware!

2. Don't Be Diabetic

One of the best beverages on a sweltering, humid day is an Iced Tea from the Chinese Store.They must put in fifteen percent iced tea mix and eighty-five percent sugar. If you're diabetic, one sip can surely give you an insulin shock! And the prices are cheap, one dollar for a big plastic tub of tea and sugar. The Lemonade is no different! These teas and lemonades have been known to give kids cavities after only a couple gulps. Be sure to get a check up from your doctor before purchasing thsese drinks!

1. Have Your Order Ready

I don't know what the hell is wrong with these people, maybe they're operating on Shanghi time, but Chinese store people are unusually rude with customers who don't know their order. Most people write down, word for word, all different orders prior to calling the Chinese Store. If you take more than two seconds without saying anything, they will hang up on yur hungry ass! First, they'll most likely ask, "What you want." This is followed by a silence and if you don't speak they will end the call, and make you call back! And since no black people I know can ever keep a Chinese food menu, this can really be a difficult task, but you have to know what you want before ordering from the China Man.

They're are several other things to keep in mind when ordering. Don't tease them by imitating their voice and if you're in the store ordering food, do your best to mind your business! Chinese stores will have everybody at work in the store, children, grand parents, I even saw a dog licking the floor; I guess he was the mop! And never mispronounce the store's name! This is hard because they all sound the same. The words Hunan, Wok, Golden, Noodle, Palace or Dragon and Star is in every Chinese store name I have ever seen in my life! They just rearrange those words to form a resturant name. Try it...Hunan Wok, Golden Star, Dragon Palace, maybe Golden Dragon Noodle Palace, you get the drift but if you take these five steps, you'll have General Tso's with plenty of MSG in no time!