Why Men & Women Fight Like Cats & Dogs

Communication

Women and men have two completely separate ways of communicating. Women want men to try and read their minds. Men on the other hand, need things said aloud and precise. Typically, interactions between males and females occur like this:

Girl: I bought you a beer!

Guy: Thanks...what is it?

Girl: Bud Light!

Guy: I don't drink Bud Light...why didn't you ask what beer I wanted?

Girl: I just thought you liked this. (sad face)

Guy: Well you thought wrong! (sarcastic face)

Girl: Fine, I'll never buy a beer for you again. (get the hell outta my face, face)

Guy: Good, you don't know how to buy beer in the first place. (angry birds face)

....Then the two fight and argue for the next two years! It also works in reverse:

Guy: What do you wanna eat?

Girl: I don't know, you pick.

Guy: Pizza.

Girl: No I'm not in the mood for pizza.

Guy: Chinese.

Girl: No, I had Chinese last year at this same time.

Guy: Watermelons.

Girl: No, I don't like the texture.

Guy :::now screaming:: Just tell me what you want!

Girl: What's your problem, why are you getting so mad?

Guy: I'm asking what you want, you told me to choose and now you don't like any suggestions. Just tell me what you want!

Girl: I don't know!

Guy: Well you drinking water because I'm eating pizza!

...Then the girl starts to yell about how the guy should just know how she's feeling and what she's thinking.

Cheating

For Girls: A guy can physically cheat on her and be forgiven, however, if the guy commits emotional infidelity, he can never be forgiven. A girl will be more upset that a guy is spending time with another chick and buying her things, especially if he doesn't do that for her! 

Fir Guys: A guy can care less if his girl is hanging out with dudes, only if that's all she's doing! If a girl sleeps with another guy, usually, the guy will leave her! A guy will care less about his girl going out to eat, he'll probably question why she didn't bring food back for him and not be upset about going to eat with some guy!

Everything Else

To guys, girls are stupid, emotional and irrational. For women, guys are stupid, jealous and controlling. Guys spend too much time talking shit with their boys and watching sports. Girls spend to much time complaining and talking shit to their girls about their boyfriends! Girls take three hours in a store and not buy anything, guys will go out and buy a lot of things but not buy his girl a damn thing. Solution: There isn't any solution, just take the bad with the good!

How Health Care is Killing You

Health Care prices are ridiculous! It's surprising that people have any money to spend after paying for rent, gas, food and health care! Obama did takes steps in reforming health care, however the Republican Party are comprised of a bunch of haters! Sadly, unless people are affected by the problem they won't research the solution. If your mother/father was dying of an illness that could be cured with one surgery, but it was too expensive to afford and your mother/father dies, you would see firsthand the importance of having affordable health care. So here is my suggestion, and yes I do this...use WebMD as your doctor! It's fast, convenient and most importantly FREE.

WebMD works the following way:

1. Go to WebMD.com
2. Log your symptoms-now you gotta have a good eye, if you put in the wrong symptoms you'll misdiagnose yourself. I'm no doctor but that seems to me a very important step!
3. Search for the correct illness.

Health Care is for the rich! Poor people cannot afford to be sick and miss work, or pay a doctor to tell them something WebMD can tell you for free. The best thing would be to see a doctor, however, will you be able to afford food after spending $8,000 dollars to have some doctor tell you that you have a cold? No! Also, people who listen to drug commercials and then ask their doctor for Valtrex, Extenze or some other drug, you people are stupid! Why the hell do you idiots buy into the marketing campaign for drugs? I seen a commercial the other day for an anti-depressant drug and it stated the following:

-You may become more depressed after taking our drug, but don't stop! Studies show that people died while using our medicine, but it doesn't mean that our medicine killed them!

What type of nonsense is this? And people will still buy the drug. If they call a drug medicine, guess what idiots, it's still a drug! Your body can become addicted to it and you may die! Here's my commercial for you people:

-You ever wake up and have to piss? Don't you hate wasting those two minutes to pee when your so busy with other things? If you answer yes to all or none of these questions, pick up your cell phone, call your doctor and ask for the little gold pill. Why pee ever again? You'll save so much time in life by not having to use the restroom! Ladies, can you imagine going to a club and being able to dance the night away? Look at those silly girls in those long bathroom lines at the bar! That used to be you!

Side effects may include: lost of breath, or choking, loss of hair, or baldness. Fingers may all stick together over time and your ankles will disappear...but at least you won't have to pee. And we also sell drugs for all the side effects!!

The only bad thing about WebMD is they always give you two choices of the illness you may have! One will say to rest, drink water and you'll be fine in two days. The other will say, pray tonight for salvation and see a doctor because you're going to die! But that's why I use your website! If I could afford to see my doctor I wouldn't be using Google and WebMD to diagnose myself! I always pick the first choice and drink plenty of water and rest...so if these blogs stop 4-5 days straight, it means I'm no longer with you guys and WebMD has tricked me into thinking water and sleep can cure all diseases!

Top 5 Homewreckers

 A house is not a home, says Luther Vandross. A house refers to the physical structure and a home denotes wife, children, pets; a family within the house. But what about women who have no family, the lost and forgotten wives of the world? They turn into homewreckers; devious, dirty dealing, man-eating chicks! Men are also to blame, it does take two to tango and men should make better decisions. However, families do fall apart, and usually it's for two reasons, success or the arrival of a  homewrecker!

5. Woody Allen's Daughter



Woody Allen is a world renown stand-up comic, writer, actor, director and more importantly, freak white guy! The above picture is Woody Allen and his wife Soon-Yi Previn, all around Asian girl. Here's the story: Woody Allen was married to Mia Farrow, they adopted Soon-Yi as their daughter; Woody Allen and his foster daughter became romantically involved and he left his wife for his adopted daughter. That's nastier than a cheese steak from a Chinese store, yuck! In addition, Woody and Soon-Yi goes on to adopt children...smarten up Soon-Yi! Don't you see how he adopts children and puts them through rigorous wife training? Notice her half wife-half daughter smile in this picture, she may be getting beat for multiple reasons!

4. Facebook

The facebook profile page is a known relationship killer. Little things like, having a girl with just her bra on that's tagged in your picture giving you a lap dance with her hands down your pants can ruin a relationship, who knew! Writing on walls is problematic also, friends calling each other boo, picture comments, can all damage a couple's future. The ultimate disrespect is changing a relationship status. Some people don't know their single until they refresh their profile page. We all see those status updates saying Melika AintGonnaNeverDuplicateMySwag Smith is single; then minutes later guys who like her  are leaving comments like congratulations, those sneaky Internet pimps. Sidebar, if you have a sentence for a middle name or spell the following sentence: getting cheese from the store like: (g3tting ch33s3 from th3 stor3), kill yourself! Take a walk to the highest building and slip on purpose! Not only will you then be single but also dead, props to facebook, the homewrecking site!

3. The Help...Maids

In the movie Scarface, Frank's wife tells Tony, "I don't fuck with the help". only to then become his wife. Art does imitate life, because there are also real life home wrecking maids, interns or secretaries. The biggest scandal recently has been with Arnold Schwarzenegger and his love child. He slept with his maid and had a kid without his family knowing. However after his wife found out, she bounced. Arnold was paying child support without anyone knowing, Jude Law also slept with a maid and have a child.Whenever rich white people sleep with their maids, you can bet that the child will be half white, half Hispanic. During slavery, you could bet the child would be half white, half black. During Vietnam you could bet that the child was half white and half Vietnamese, I'm sure KKK members are really pissed off!

2. Alicia Keys



Alicia Keys is the perfect example of the sneaky homewrecker. Her music is the exact opposite of who she is, I feel tricked! With songs like Lesson Learned, If I Ain't Got You and Karma, you would think she was a good girl, not a homewrecker. Alicia Keys and Swizz are now married with children, funny thing is Swizz was married with another singer and also had kids, named Mashonda! The thing I don't understand is this, if he did it to her wouldn't you think he may also get rid of you the same way? I mean Ciara, Kelly Rowland are still out there or maybe Katy Perry if he likes white girls!

1. Tiger Wood's 179 White Women & Counting



Damn Tiger, you got caught 183 times, what the hell were you thinking? All white women, I guess you really think you aren't black. Well we don't need you know brother, you're losing, so long! Women were coming out of everywhere saying they slept with Tiger and he didn't deny it! He also didn't actually fess up to the number, he kinda said, "Yeah it happened but I don't know how many times." His wife chased him with a golf club and caused him to crash into a tree and they think only black women have attitudes? Nope. Tiger you silly mixed man got into the game of Golf, Drugs and Women. The Golf game is gangster son!  I don't know how you had the time to sleep with 209 different white women, guess he was hitting more holes in ones than we thought!

An Ode to George Carlin: The Post Modern Man

I keep loose change in my tight jeans
I gotta master's degree with a slave's mentality
I'm a dumb ass with a smartphone
I gotta good heart but I'm bad news
Always ready to blow with a short fuse
I spend long nights with psychic mediums...
Who can tell the future, don't remember the past and presently unaware of everything happening now
I can read closed minded people like an open book, how?
Cuz I'm dynamite like JJ
Even tho I listen to LL thru my mp3
That doesn't need AA batteries.
So, sorry I couldn't hear, but BB chat me or CC me if I don't get your email or tweet
I only #FF girls with double D's
And tonight we can make a funny TT.
Then i'll need some R&R
Before the kids awake to pee pee
So I can make time for GG
Who's young enough to relate to Tupac
But old enough that she doesn't two step or club hop,
But always staying dougie.
It's a crazy dogma
Watching kids Cat Daddy
Who're getting jerked by the game
While they superman on hoes
Pimped by the system
And I thought prostitution was illegal!

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The Wingman

Sometimes, its not up to the guy whether or not he gets the girl. There's a lot of different factors, such as location, maybe she lives too far, maybe she has kids, but if they're at a club it's usually up to the Wingman. Ladies, you ever see a group of guys approach and circle you and your girls and stare, like they're scared to say hello? Mainly, it's because most guys don't want to waste their time trying to dance with girls on a "Girl's Night Out" so they'll try and see if your dancing with other guys. Most men don't understand the concept of girl's night out especially if you're not drinking and only dancing with other girls, the club is for grown folk...go put on pajamas and dance in front of the bathroom mirror if you're planning a "Girl's Night".  Secondly, guys are arguing about who should first go attempt to dance, so the other dudes can dance with her friends. Important note, sometimes a guy will make known which girl he prefers, making everyone else with him a Wingman from that particular moment. So if a guy comes up to you for a dance, it doesn't mean he wants you, at least not to start off! Some guys are great Wingmen and others are bench warmers that sit on the couch and never get the call to hangout! Great Wingmen share these common attributes:

1. Taking One for the Team
2. Non-Verbal Communication
3. Breaks the Ice
4. Doesn't Overdue it

1. A lot of cute girls roll with ugly women called ugly ass girls or grenades for short. A great Wingman has to at least be able to entertain the beast, like a matador with a bull, if not she'll transform into a cock blocker. Some men take things a step further by hooking up with a grenade. Truthfully, every guy has did something with a girl that was so unattractive it shocks even him! I don't advise even touching an ugly girl, but everyone needs love! And after a couple shots, it's still better than touching yourself, well kinda!


2.Very important! Guys need ways to communicate in the midst of other women without actually saying anything. Most guys are stupid; adding the fact that they may be drunk, they're liable to say anything! Trust me I know! You ever talk to a chick thinking, "Damn she's boring as hell", but can't leave because your friend is chatting up a storm about Dancing With the Stars or some other nonsense that he shouldn't know anything about? This is why number two is important, a small gesture or simple phrase like, "Let's go find Brian" knowing good and well Brian doesn't exist will suffice. Some crazy club rats will follow you and ask to meet Brian, tough break! Best to make up another lie like, "Oh, yeah he just left"!

3. A good Wingman has to be someone that starts to put everything in motion from time to time. He goes over and just starts dancing or talking to get the girl's attention. He has no fear of rejection! This is why most guys buy drinks for women at bars, it's an easy way to get an hello in, but also a suckas way! She'll drink your liqour and then run off...stop buying girls drinks dumb asses! But girls, keep making them buy your drinks, aye, free liqour is free liqour! And if things go horribly wrong, at least you have something to laugh at during the night.

4. All women and men now how other men get jealous. Even if someone's girlfriend dances with you for a song or buys you a drink, the jealous guy is going to run over to push you away. An otherwise good Wingman can be sullied by getting jealous. It's only fair, if the girl you want isn't feeling you, then switch roles! Don't start to hate on your own boys, if you can hate on someone you know, you definitely hate on those you never met! This is other wise known as Player Hating, going way back to '96 for y'all. However, don't try to steal the limelight; trying to be number one when you should be the number two, LeBron James, we're looking at you!

Wingmen are crucial to getting chicks. Some women are so shallow, even if she doesn't like one person in the group, she'll leave. If she has a friend that is complaining or nobody's dancing with her, she'll leave. You would think she realizes even in the dark corners of most clubs, her friend can still be seen unattractive. But one must learn to put up with these obstacles, and having the right Wingmen will help with the job, even Obama needs a V.P!

A Guide to Defending The Cock-Block

Hate. Anger. Frustration. Sadness. This is the gamut of feelings a guy may feel after being cock-blocked, or CB'd! The CB is a horrible part of club culture that needs to be done away with pronto. Usually, its females trying to protect their friends, or some unattractive female vying for attention. Surprisingly, its even a couple guys out there that CB other guys, these guys are losers and I hope their children are born with no feet! So how does one defend against the CB? These strategies will help any guy trying to score; a good defense leads to offense.

Prevent Defense

In football, this defense is used near the end of games, in order to prevent the offense from a last second score that can either tie the game or win the game for the opposing team. In nightclubs, this defense should be used first. Don't let those CB's spot you at all; out of sight, out of mind. The best thing to do is to keep an ever watching eye on potential CB's, and be ready to move when they step in your direction.Going to the bathroom while set-up in this defense can lead to a costly turnover, having The CB take your girl away! Also, keep your vision on the crowd when ordering drinks, if the bartender can't hear you just leave, you can't afford to lean in for an order when a CB could be lurking! Prevent them from entering into your space altogether!

Zone & Man to Man Coverage

Both these defenses require skilled Wingmen, which will be discussed later, to implement. The zone defense requires quick, non-verbal communication skills. If your wingman is across the room and sees that your in danger of getting CB'd, he has two options. First, he can notify you with a head nod or maybe a Chris Bosh tongue type face, well maybe not; other non-verbal cues can also work. You'll need to develop something due to the 50/50 chance of having a cell phone signal at most clubs. In addition, there's man to man coverage, which should be used if there is an equal girl-guy ratio, however, some experienced wingmen may be able to handle two or more CB's. The biggest problem when using man to man coverage, just like in football, is having one of your Wingmen let a CB break free with no help D! Zone D offers help, akin to having free safeties if one of your wingmen gets burned. Knowing your personnel will help with choosing between these two strategies.

The Blitz

The trickiest trick that tricks use in the club, The Blitz. You may find yourself dancing with a lovely lady only to be swarmed by five to six of her friends! The problem here is that your field of vision is limited, especially with so many skirts in your face, your blind side is left open. If this happens, your done, time to go home and hit the showers. Funny how guys will sit around like it's an ESPN post game show telling each other how they almost got some girl back, you don't want to be one of those guys! The important thing to do when getting blitzed is to remain mobile, scramble! Spin around dancing couples to get space, bump a girl and walk by swiftly so she thinks the girl following you did it, hell, kick someone in the back of the knee so they fall and create a ruckus. This is the moment of truth, you don't want an hour of talking and acting like you're paying attention to her stupid stories to go to waste! Do what you have to do!

Ladies if your friend wants to have a good night don't interrupt. As long as the guy isn't a creeper, just let her be. Men should never, ever, engage in this behaviour! That's grounds to being called a hater and losing all respect from other men on sight. Don't be that guy! Have some respect for yourself and mind your damn business, that goes for men and women. You ugly monkeys!

The Creams & the Oreo Cookies! Top 5 Mulattoes

America has such a racially charged history. Race relations currently reflect that, however the relationships between blacks and white has gotten a lot better. So much so that these races have come together to make babies! Desegregation in the bedroom has given us biracial people, take that Census Bureau! These five people are the top mulattoes currently living in the America today!

5. Halle Berry

The prettiest person, and only female on the list is Halle Berry. Actress, former beauty queen and model, it's safe to say Ms. Berry has talent, biracial talent. Her first big acting role coincidentally was Jungle Fever! Halle knew firsthand about jungle fever from her parents, so who better to play the part. Halle has had Jungle Fever in real life by dating both black and white men. Black dudes dogged her out and so did the white guys, they probably saw her in that horrible movie Catwoman and decided they couldn't go on with it. She also has a rap song named after her by Hurricane Chris but the song wasn't that good, it sucked Monster's Balls.

4. The Mulatto Throttle

Blake Griffin made the list under his proposed new nickname, The Mulatto Throttle. Blake had a monster year, making ESPN top plays every night and winning the Slam Dunk contest this year. He's a monster in the paint, something like an Albino Frankenstein! Just look at the similarities.

Blake puts to rest one of the biggest debates in basketball. White men can't jump, and neither can black men but the mulattoes will jump over a car and turn it into a slow motion car commercial. White car, with black interior, mulattoes are WINNING!!

3. Drake

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! It's Drizzy Drake on the list at number 3! He put out a mixtape so big they decided to come out with a wack ass video for it, So Far Gone. The Degrassi actor rolled his wheelchair into the game and put out hit after hit. His freshman CD went platnium and he's still dropping collab tracks and just put out two new hit singles that black and white fans both love, which they should seeing as how he's black and white! I caught up with Drake to get his thoughts on being placed on the list, he said, "I like to drift to the back like a haircut fade, of course I made it in the game at #3, Dwayne Wade"

He actually didn't say that but that's the signature flow and this picture is old!! And of course I wrote this waving my right hand in the air the entire time, just like he does when performing!

2. Derek Jeter

The biracial angel on Earth is number two on the list and number two on the field, I hear it's because only God is better than him. But no God isn't; but if Jeter says so I guess it's true. Multiple championships, awards, game winning hits and multiple women. Yes sir, our man here is the biggest clutch hitter ever, and being a Phillies fan I hate to admit it but I have to give respect when it's due. His pinstripe jersey is like a reflection of his soul, white guy with black blood running along his genetics. Bless his zebra soul! Legend has it, if your with a girl and you whisper the name Derek Jeter, that you'll at least get to first base and depending on how you round second you may get to go all the way home! Try it!

1. Barack H. Obama

Of course, number one is Obama. The first black man in the White House, his dad knows how that feels! President Cool, a man that gives hope to so many. He also killed the number one terrorist in the world, Osama Bin Laden! With his kick in the door black genes and his send an entire army to kill one person white genes, it's the perfect combination to fight terror with! And although he's black, the white does show from time to time. Yes he plays ball, but he can shoot, yes he listens to rap  but he also legally purchases the cd's and although he had a big party when he won the presidency he couldn't dance to save his life when celebrating. Commander-in-chief, Mr. White-In-Black, we salute you!

Understanding While Overcoming

Life is too short
to worry and stress about going to work everyday thinking how the hours there seem so long
and contemplating ways of paying bills
trying to stay stress free, cause stress kills;
as does waking at five, working til' dawn
taking naps for lunch, you awake and belch a yawn;
the fast paced city, has you walking along
this path, until you notice how it keeps on and on
like a never ending run-on sentence...

Then finally a period.
Arguing with ya girl, you're frustrated and she's on her.
You wish the fights suddenly stopped like that
You both feel like the end is near.
Then, the distance


You            need             your               space


She            needs             her                space


We're told to let things go and see if love puts them back into place.


Well, you miss each other so much that the thought of them makes you grin,
you realize you never wanted to lose such a close friend.
You talk a lot more, hangout and then
things get serious, you're back to getting intimate,
see how the spaces disappear and how love brought everything together again?

And I saw that, now sense other things more.
Yesterday, I heard opportunity knocking on the door
but every time I answer another door closes.
Gotta move faster, no time to stop and smell the roses.
The taste of victory must wait, I feel the disaster,
drained, my thoughts are demonic, everything goes backwards
!Em sdnatsrednu eno on woh ees,
See how no one understands me!
Am I right?
I need color to see, my world is in black and white.

And  my mind is on having that green paper
call me the Candyman, I'm about it now and later
No need to question. I'm tryna get checks with commas period.
All that crazy talk from you haters, I'm not hearin' it.
You little assholes are semi-colons that just don't give a shit.

But I will survive and achieve my success!
Such a bold statement! I believe it with every breath.
Here's my dream love,
Go somewhere relaxing that offers peace and quiet, drinking fine Italian wine
until I'm a little leaned like my words are italicized.
The underlined words seems to me the underlying theme...
And as you can see, the font agrees with me!

Jesus, My Homeboy

You ever wonder where rappers draw their biggest inspiration from? One must look no further than Jesus Christ! Jesus has had the game on lock for thousand of years, that's reppin' son!. Let's take a look to see how Jesus has influenced rap. First off, you have Christian rap. Whoever, thought of that idea is going to hell, there's even gangster Christian Rap, people talking about doing drive-by's on the devil and stabbing demons.

The Click

Nowadays every rapper has a record label and fifteen people with him at all times. This way it looks like they don't need security, just a small nation's army with them, all carrying burners and gats, aka guns, illegally as protection. Jesus also had mad people with him at all times, called disciples, it was twelve, but one was Judas, he was the rat or snitch of the group. And in rap one big rule is to not snitch ever! "Snitches get Stitches" but it's always one of them go-tell on somebody whereabouts ass dudes around! But Judas started it all, he only got 30 pieces of silver, they didn't even give my man gold. That shit probably was cubic zirconium, not even real silver. Yup, Judas played, or betrayed, Jesus!I bet there were disciples trying to sleep with women back then telling girls they would meet Jesus and receive miracles, this same practice is seen with rappers. The roadies will sleep with a girl; telling them that they'll meet the superstar of the group, silly hoes!

Street Team

The disciples used to walk around towns to tell people of Jesus' future arrival. A street team for a rapper serves the same purpose. They walk around neighborhood's posting shit on my door and on old abandoned buildings, trying to tell people of the release date for upcoming albums.Many rappers release a first album quick and then spread word of upcoming albums on the Internet and through their street team. The disciples also tried telling people of Jesus' second return to the streets, but like rapper cd's, the release dates are unknown and always getting pushed back!

Rap Beef

Judas was also the first case of starting rap beef. See, Judas took money to tell people Jesus' location. In music, they do the same thing, they give money to rapper A to go and talk about rapper B. Controversy sells, unfortunately people take it too far and innocent people get murdered. In this case Jesus was murdered and so was Tupac and Biggie, all over some rap beef that the media started to call the West Coast-East Coast rivalry.People have been taking money to sell out their friends for centuries!

Pouring Out Liquor

In rap, people pour out liquor for their homies, or friends after that have passed. Tupac even has a song entitled, "Pour Out a Lil Liquor". People get drunk and pour liquor every where, in the street, club, I had a friend pour out liquor on my carpet once!  But where and how did this start? In the bible, people poured out drinks as sacrifices to God and other deities, think I'm lying, google it! There is also Communion Sundays, where my pastor used to explicitly say, "Drink/pour out my blood in remembrance of me" But I know it's wine and not really blood. And thousands of years later we are still pouring shit out our cups and onto the floor.

The Cypher

When rappers gather they sometimes start cyphers. Mainly, it's just to show other rappers how good you are on the spot with people paying attention. Usually, it's a group of unknown rappers just starting, trying to generate a buzz, or gain attention using their talent. Cyphers can last as long as a couple of minutes to hours, verse after verse. Jesus and his disciples would also sit around and spit, spit the holy word. That's right! They used parables. They would also recite verse after verse, but these verses came from the bible, all to try and impress Jesus and get attention for having immense knowledge about God's word, or to generate a buzz with Jesus. See how it works both ways!

Chains

Jesus' death is forever remembered, he was hung on a cross. Some rappers have even made this image their CD covers! Almost every rapper alive has a Jesus Chain or Jesus Piece or pieces of a Jesus chain, somewhere on them at all times. It's like an unwritten rap rule. One guy had a Jesus piece falling out of his sneaker. You could tell he walks with the Lord and has a hole in the shoe.

So peep game, or recognize what I'm telling you, this rap game is realer, or has more truth in it, than you know. Who else is reppin', or representing, this hard for Jesus? Rockstar's? They don't be dripping with that ice, or wearing Jesus jewelery. Singer's? Yeah they can blow, or sing, for the Lord but I don't see them pouring out any liquor! Country singers? Nope, because Jesus was black and most rappers are...black! So there you have it, Jesus was a black rapper with a gold chain, platinum albums that did miracles every time he touched down, or arrived, on the streets!!!

Rules of the Game: Pt. 2

This is part two of yesterday's blog. We'll examine the do's and don'ts for guys. Enjoy!

Do's for Guy's:

1. Compliment Sincerely

-Ladies do love attention, and they like when guy's notice the small things. Maybe her hair is pulled back in a bun, maybe her nails and toenails were just done or maybe she's wearing a new dress. Whatever it is, women love when guys notice the small details, especially since they go through two hours of preparation, just joking ladies we all now it takes five days! However, the compliments must be sincere and original. If a lady is busty, you can bet she gets a lot of guys staring at her cleavage or making some sly comment. Don't be that guy, be original and thoughtful!

2. Chivalry isn't Dead...Just Dying

-Being a gentlemen is seriously an underrated but much noticed trait that women appreciate. Although, we now have females who carry knives in their pocketbooks and with shows like Snapped, a show about women going crazy and killing their husbands, modern women seem dangerous and aggressive. Rest assured, there are still sweet and precious ladies around that like having a strong, capable guy around. If you see a lady carrying heavy groceries, offer help, hold open doors, let women sit if there are no other seats available. Let women know that you are capable of taking care of them and show that your thinking of them first!

3. Find a Tie!

-Women don't mind seeing guys in sweats, actually many of them prefer a guy with sweats or basketball shorts with a wife beater on, just as long as your body doesn't look like a smoker on a diet, go eat bro! However, a women also wants to be with a guy that can dress the part and has a versatile wardrobe. Obama is making the thugged-out look a little passé. Also, women do love guys in suits, looks more professional and clean. Just show her that you can go to church after going to the club!

4. Engage

-No, I'm not telling you to drop to one bony knee and ask for her hand in marriage! Show her that you're interested in her and not just interested in getting inside of her! Talk about things other than just chilling in your bedroom and take her outside the house.The problem is that  ladies like going out and most guys just like sitting around; fight the urge and treat her like a friend without benefits sometime. Call to say hello and chat, ask how her day went,really listen and most of all pay attention, because when she asks you, "What did I just say?" You might want to have a response ready!

5. Pop the Question

-Again, I'm not talking about marriage but the other question. If you do the previous four things correctly then you know what question I'm referring to here! No....Here it is, ask her to come over to watch a movie! We all know what that question means, you both know that watching the movie isn't important but it's a nice way of saying come over and lay in my bed with the lights out! Just make sure you have a wide range of genres to choose from, you wouldn't want her to come over just for her to say you have nothing she wants to watch. Damn, guess it's extenze commericals for your sex-less night!

Do not's for Guys:

1.Skip ESPN

-Very important when just getting to know any female. Fellas, most women don't like sports! Shocking right! Many women will sit and watch for a little because your interested and she doesn't want to complain, she's been following the rules of the game! There are only but so many angles they can show the big play from last night, or interview the same three players, and the top ten plays will be the same all day long, it gets boring! Of course it doesn't, however, your trying to bag a cutie here and that inevitable, "Why are we still watching this!" will eventually come out. If your in a relationship already, it's just one of those things that has to be compromised!

2. Be Cool

-That's right; be cool and don't sweat her! One big turnoffs for most women is having a guy always up under her arms, invading her personal space. The hot summer months is enough to make anyone sweat and she doesn't need you sweating her too! Learn how to be a man, have some backbone, stand for something! Women take advantage of guys like this. Here you are thinking you're being caring but it isn't the case. She'll ask you at three in the morning to go and get ice cream and walk it five miles to her house! Once your categorized as overly nice you'll be expected to do it, remember someone has to wear the pants!

3. The Lone Wolf

-Don't always bring your boys to places she invites you too, heck, don't even mention you have friends. What typically happens is this: guys will end up choosing to go out with their boys instead of spending time with their lady. Nothing wrong with going out and doing what guys do and talking about whats guys talk about but you have to find balance. The song "Call Tyrone" comes to mind, women will get fed up with always playing second fiddle.Moreover, if you do decide to go out with your friends and your lady interest, for the love of Black Jesus, don't wear the same outfit in different colors, it's not cool, at all!

4. Rub One Out


-Women have the uncanny ability to sniff out horny guys. They can tell by the way you look at them what you're after. A quick glance is flattering, but staring screams, "I'm a pervert on the loose! There's a big difference between flirting and coming off as a creeper. You must find ways to take your mind off of doing the nasty. You ever see guys turn their heads when a girl walks by? Most guys will take a few steps past her and then turn around, like nobody sees them. If you're going to stare, man up and speak. Tip: Wear dark shades and you can stare all you want and be unnoticed!


5. Mr. Clean

-Don't engage in weird cheater behavior. Things like having texts at four in the morning and all of a sudden you have to use the restroom? Seems suspicious! Women aren't as stupid and naive as most men think. Phone calls or texts at certain times of the night are not good signs of building a trustworthy relationship. In fact, any call/text after 2am is classified as a booty call. She'll wonder why you have so many women friends, when most men will claim of having none or maybe one.

There you have it, rules of the game, for both men and women. Remember, feelings are fleeting and relationships sink, a bright future can be drowned out by past mistakes and present disappointments.The weather is nice, go out and mingle if your single and be on the lookout for your next winter time boo. If you don't want to be alone this upcoming cuffing season follow these rules and you'll be in love or lust sooner than you know!

Rules of the Game Pt. 1

With summer fast approaching, we are reaching the end of cuffing season. Cuffing season for those who are unaware or have no black friends, is the time of the year when the weather starts to drop and people search around for girlfriends/boyfriends to keep them company during the year, usually from October to March. It's sorta like a love hibernation of some sorts. Usually during the cold winter months people don't like to go out to bars, clubs or lounges and having someone steady breaks the monotony of being alone. So today, we will take a look at the do's and don'ts for girls and tomorrow we'll do the same for guys that are looking to snag a potential love interest!

Do's For Ladies:

1. Wear heels

-Guys for some reason love when women wear heels. They're stylish and sexy when compared to the other alternatives of wearing flats, sneakers and worst of all Chinese slippers. If your going for that smoked out hooker look then by all means, Chinese slippers are for you. Heels say, "I'm a lady with purpose!" and flats say, "Jesus doesn't love me and neither does my family." A statement you don't want to make when looking for someone that will potentially develop feelings for you. The size of a heel alone is enough to get any guy's attention because they'll be wondering how anyone could walk with those things.

2. Bring a crowd

-Typically when guys and girls hangout, the guy will ask if the girl has any friends. This is very important because guys usually hang out with 2-3 other guys at any given time. Most guys don't want to choose between being with friends or some potential girlfriend. If a guy can combine these two together for the beginning of courtship then it'll make the transition a lot better for the girl stealing the guy away from his friends, which does happen. Also, if the guy turns out to be a creeper and tries to pull some weirdo move like lick your knee, you have people to protect you and witnesses for the police.

3. Phones are Bi

-That's right, phones work both ways. Guys believe it or not do get tired of being the one responsible for setting up play dates ladies. It's hard for some men to distinguish from being interested to feeling like their begging for your attention, something most men will never do, so make it easier and use your cell. And it'll make the guy seem cool that a woman besides his mother is calling him!

4. Tell a joke

-Most situations between a guy and girl are as follows:

(Girl comes in and sits on couch)
Guy: Hey, do you want something to drink?
Girl: No thanks.
Guy: You wanna watch TV or something.
Girl: No, I only watch tivo, I don't like commercials.

And of course, the guy doesn't have tivo, so the two just sit in silence. After about twenty minutes the girl makes up a lie and leaves. Ladies must realize that guys don't always want to be the entertaining one and sometimes aren't in the mood to do so. Ladies should try to break the ice or strike up a conversation from time to time. If your not funny at least try, just learn when to stop to avoid becoming annoying like the vast majority of females in the world.

5. Easy doesn't do it

-The most important thing to do is to play hard to get. Most guys like the challenge of the chase that easy women don't offer. Also, being easy makes a guy think of you as  more of a one-night stand than anything serious. A guy figures if he was able to get a chick so fast then so was most guys she talked to in the past. The one thing that guys never want to do is be with a woman that many men have had sexual encounters with. That's just nasty, Katt Stacks we're looking at you!

PS: Cooking shouldn't have to be mentioned, come on now!!

Do not's for Ladies:

1. Keep it Simple

-Yes, guys do give attention to women that are dressed in something a little too tight or a little too short, however not for any good reason. That type of girl gets sexually energized attention, nothing more. Females think men are shallow and it really isn't all that true. A girl in sweats and a tee shirt can be far more appealing and attractive than a girl that leaves little to the imagination. Remember, it's not about how fast you can get a guy to notice you but how long you can sustain his attention.

2. Man Up

-One thing all men hate about women is the fact that they complain so much about every small thing. If it rains, that's a problem. If it's too hot, that's a problem. If you're wearing Nike's and not Reebok's that's a problem. Unless you have a solution to a problem then don't speak on it, because nine times out of ten the guy doesn't even notice it and now feels annoyed about your nagging.

3. Be Independent

-Guys are usually confused when it comes to knowing what a women wants and unless it's explicitly said, they won't ever know. One minute Destiny Child comes out with a song about being Independent and the next it's asking some guy to pay bills, bills, and more bills. Which one is it? Never assume a guy is going to treat you if you're just seeing him for the first time. Times are changing and some women actually get offended by it, albeit not many, just don't make assumptions. Rule: If the guy asks you out than he should treat, if you ask a guy out don't expect him to pay! And if the guy asks you to meet him somewhere, try your best and find a way there, gas prices are higher than Lindsay Lohan, don't conitually make him come out of pocket for everything.

4. Space Jam

-I, personally, don't understand this but some girls are always under a guy. Maybe she has no friends, maybe she's sprung, who knows but it can be a huge turnoff for a guy. Some girls seem as though they can't function without having some guy in their life. Most guys are independent by nature and don't like having to check in and out when he comes and goes. Only a man's mother has the right to question his whereabouts, not his lady friend. Give him his space.

5. The Cling

-The biggest reason some guys choose to leave women alone is fear of the cling. It sounds like some type of STD and it feels that way also. The cling is to be expected after sexual relations, especially due to a female's high emotional association between feelings and intercourse. However, guys don't feel the same way and usually those feelings aren't reciprocated. Although it goes against your nature ladies try and hold off on being around a guy too much after the first time. And if it's good you know that simple fool will be back time and time again.

Pretty Women!

Have you ever heard the phrase, "She's pretty for a dark-skinned girl?" Is it racist, ignorant or true? Also consider this fact, have you ever heard anyone say...she's pretty for a white girl or light-skinned girl? If so is it the same or is it an attempt to some way degrade black women?

Top 5 Dead or Alive!!

No....this blog entry isn't dedicated to the age old question of best rap artists, living or dead, but to the corniest five people ever to achieve fame.These five people are the corniest humans ever to see the light of day or the darkness of night. Their awkwardness and herb personalities leaves one baffled and sick to their stomachs. In today's world, we have a herb epidemic...losers on the loose, staining my entertainment with their cornball odor and dripping their wack juices. I have followed these aforementioned wack juices; which has lead me down the path to finding each of these corny ass asses, now without further adieu!

5. Number 33 formerly known as Scottie Pippen

Scottie Pippen will forever be locked into number five as one of the corniest people ever. During an ESPN radio interview, our man Scottie uttered the blasphemous statement that Lebron James may be a better player than Michael Jordan.Was he high? Drunk off four lokos? One could only hope!. Number 33 just lost his big-nosed mind. They should remove his name and number from all things Chicago Bulls and take his Championship rings.. I hear Michael Jordan is calling 1-800-CASH-4-GOLD to return #33's six rings, and if Lebron had a fourth quarter he probably be able to afford one! As this picture shows, you two bum ass cornballs can't even compare to the shadow of Jordan.




4. Lil Mama

Where should I start with this corny Harlemnite? Her knockoff Lady Gaga outfits? Her stage crashing antics at Jay-Z's 2009 VMA performance?  Her attempts of using five or more letter words on ABDC that always leads to epic fails or her rap career that lasted a good five minutes? It's hard to determine her gender when she speaks, which isn't good seeing as how she looks like a twelve year old Lil Bow Wow. Should we forget the fitteds with synthetic hair draping from the top, with her grotesque crack head body? A lot of questions I know but we can all concur that the bitch is busted! We'll just leave you with these photos, and yes, they're corny as hell; also check out the performance swag: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2IQYl-b69s&feature=related


3. Ellen Degeneres

The number three spot is reserved for the corniest white girl/guy we all know and hate, Ellen. The thought of Ellen engaging in girl on girl action makes my penis soft. Her super corny jokes and goofy ass dance steps makes her the corniest talk show host ever. I have no respect for a grown ass woman that walks around public dressed as Harry Potter.


 I also have an itching suspicion that Ellen and Justin Bieber are the same person...same color hair, same haircut, same outfits, both dance around uncontrollably and they both have the same bra size! I hate you Ellen!!

2. Toure



I decided to place his picture first just to show those that don't know this cornball. Funny thing, he has about fifty jobs that he all does poorly and you still don't know him. He's like the guy you meet that was in your class or lived on your block and you never knew, the classic background dork. He serves as a host on two FUSE shows, BET host, rolling stones writer, former CNN correspondent, professional dog-walker, jewel thief, gas station clerk and yes he is your next door neighbor! He's just so fucking corny that you just don't notice him,  and your subconscious tells you to ignore him and look away, as you should! I refuse to search the internet to accent the letter e in your name...you make me sick and please save up a few dimes and go out and get a shape-up bro!

1. Dwight Howard

And the wackest, corniest, herb of them all goes to Dwight Howard. God hates you and so does the devil!  You tried swagger jacking Shaq but forgot one intangible, you have no talent dumb ass. After watching a few episodes of Basketball Wives it wasn't hard to figure out which girl you were dating, your wack juices probably seeped into her pores when you guys slept together. Quick fact: your not entertaining and children cry when you smile. Not only were you're dunk contest dunks cheesy and wack, you dance like a retarded five year old and even the Magic on your chest couldn't remove the wackness that oozes from your swagless soul. Even if you cured AIDS, stopped world hunger and single handedly won the war on terror in the same day, you'd still be the lamest man in the world! Fuck you Dwight Howard! Stop kissing rim and learn how to make a jump shot!