The Wingman

Sometimes, its not up to the guy whether or not he gets the girl. There's a lot of different factors, such as location, maybe she lives too far, maybe she has kids, but if they're at a club it's usually up to the Wingman. Ladies, you ever see a group of guys approach and circle you and your girls and stare, like they're scared to say hello? Mainly, it's because most guys don't want to waste their time trying to dance with girls on a "Girl's Night Out" so they'll try and see if your dancing with other guys. Most men don't understand the concept of girl's night out especially if you're not drinking and only dancing with other girls, the club is for grown folk...go put on pajamas and dance in front of the bathroom mirror if you're planning a "Girl's Night".  Secondly, guys are arguing about who should first go attempt to dance, so the other dudes can dance with her friends. Important note, sometimes a guy will make known which girl he prefers, making everyone else with him a Wingman from that particular moment. So if a guy comes up to you for a dance, it doesn't mean he wants you, at least not to start off! Some guys are great Wingmen and others are bench warmers that sit on the couch and never get the call to hangout! Great Wingmen share these common attributes:

1. Taking One for the Team
2. Non-Verbal Communication
3. Breaks the Ice
4. Doesn't Overdue it

1. A lot of cute girls roll with ugly women called ugly ass girls or grenades for short. A great Wingman has to at least be able to entertain the beast, like a matador with a bull, if not she'll transform into a cock blocker. Some men take things a step further by hooking up with a grenade. Truthfully, every guy has did something with a girl that was so unattractive it shocks even him! I don't advise even touching an ugly girl, but everyone needs love! And after a couple shots, it's still better than touching yourself, well kinda!


2.Very important! Guys need ways to communicate in the midst of other women without actually saying anything. Most guys are stupid; adding the fact that they may be drunk, they're liable to say anything! Trust me I know! You ever talk to a chick thinking, "Damn she's boring as hell", but can't leave because your friend is chatting up a storm about Dancing With the Stars or some other nonsense that he shouldn't know anything about? This is why number two is important, a small gesture or simple phrase like, "Let's go find Brian" knowing good and well Brian doesn't exist will suffice. Some crazy club rats will follow you and ask to meet Brian, tough break! Best to make up another lie like, "Oh, yeah he just left"!

3. A good Wingman has to be someone that starts to put everything in motion from time to time. He goes over and just starts dancing or talking to get the girl's attention. He has no fear of rejection! This is why most guys buy drinks for women at bars, it's an easy way to get an hello in, but also a suckas way! She'll drink your liqour and then run off...stop buying girls drinks dumb asses! But girls, keep making them buy your drinks, aye, free liqour is free liqour! And if things go horribly wrong, at least you have something to laugh at during the night.

4. All women and men now how other men get jealous. Even if someone's girlfriend dances with you for a song or buys you a drink, the jealous guy is going to run over to push you away. An otherwise good Wingman can be sullied by getting jealous. It's only fair, if the girl you want isn't feeling you, then switch roles! Don't start to hate on your own boys, if you can hate on someone you know, you definitely hate on those you never met! This is other wise known as Player Hating, going way back to '96 for y'all. However, don't try to steal the limelight; trying to be number one when you should be the number two, LeBron James, we're looking at you!

Wingmen are crucial to getting chicks. Some women are so shallow, even if she doesn't like one person in the group, she'll leave. If she has a friend that is complaining or nobody's dancing with her, she'll leave. You would think she realizes even in the dark corners of most clubs, her friend can still be seen unattractive. But one must learn to put up with these obstacles, and having the right Wingmen will help with the job, even Obama needs a V.P!