A Guide to Defending The Cock-Block

Hate. Anger. Frustration. Sadness. This is the gamut of feelings a guy may feel after being cock-blocked, or CB'd! The CB is a horrible part of club culture that needs to be done away with pronto. Usually, its females trying to protect their friends, or some unattractive female vying for attention. Surprisingly, its even a couple guys out there that CB other guys, these guys are losers and I hope their children are born with no feet! So how does one defend against the CB? These strategies will help any guy trying to score; a good defense leads to offense.

Prevent Defense

In football, this defense is used near the end of games, in order to prevent the offense from a last second score that can either tie the game or win the game for the opposing team. In nightclubs, this defense should be used first. Don't let those CB's spot you at all; out of sight, out of mind. The best thing to do is to keep an ever watching eye on potential CB's, and be ready to move when they step in your direction.Going to the bathroom while set-up in this defense can lead to a costly turnover, having The CB take your girl away! Also, keep your vision on the crowd when ordering drinks, if the bartender can't hear you just leave, you can't afford to lean in for an order when a CB could be lurking! Prevent them from entering into your space altogether!

Zone & Man to Man Coverage

Both these defenses require skilled Wingmen, which will be discussed later, to implement. The zone defense requires quick, non-verbal communication skills. If your wingman is across the room and sees that your in danger of getting CB'd, he has two options. First, he can notify you with a head nod or maybe a Chris Bosh tongue type face, well maybe not; other non-verbal cues can also work. You'll need to develop something due to the 50/50 chance of having a cell phone signal at most clubs. In addition, there's man to man coverage, which should be used if there is an equal girl-guy ratio, however, some experienced wingmen may be able to handle two or more CB's. The biggest problem when using man to man coverage, just like in football, is having one of your Wingmen let a CB break free with no help D! Zone D offers help, akin to having free safeties if one of your wingmen gets burned. Knowing your personnel will help with choosing between these two strategies.

The Blitz

The trickiest trick that tricks use in the club, The Blitz. You may find yourself dancing with a lovely lady only to be swarmed by five to six of her friends! The problem here is that your field of vision is limited, especially with so many skirts in your face, your blind side is left open. If this happens, your done, time to go home and hit the showers. Funny how guys will sit around like it's an ESPN post game show telling each other how they almost got some girl back, you don't want to be one of those guys! The important thing to do when getting blitzed is to remain mobile, scramble! Spin around dancing couples to get space, bump a girl and walk by swiftly so she thinks the girl following you did it, hell, kick someone in the back of the knee so they fall and create a ruckus. This is the moment of truth, you don't want an hour of talking and acting like you're paying attention to her stupid stories to go to waste! Do what you have to do!

Ladies if your friend wants to have a good night don't interrupt. As long as the guy isn't a creeper, just let her be. Men should never, ever, engage in this behaviour! That's grounds to being called a hater and losing all respect from other men on sight. Don't be that guy! Have some respect for yourself and mind your damn business, that goes for men and women. You ugly monkeys!