Top 5 Black People Rules

Let me be clear, people of all races also actively engage in these rules; black people just tend to abide by these rules more often than not. These rules aren't taught, but automatically understood at black birth and accepted as a way of life. I will admit that some of these rules are ridiculous and weird, but nonetheless, these are the rules. Some of us grown black folk realize that these rules are child's play and choose to disregard them. Disregarding these rules, however, are sure to get negative attention drawn your way and accused of not really being black!

P.S. Touching a black person's radio is a law not a rule!

Communication

Black people will say hello but WILL NOT always be the first person to do so, You may have heard a black person say something like, "Ohh, they gonna act like they don't see me." Meaning they're growing tired of saying good morning to said person, especially because they just walked by and didn't speak and were aware of the black person's presence. I'll tell non-black reader's a secret...we aren't as angry as television make us out to be! I was taught to say hello when entering a room, especially entering a person's home.But if we see you in the streets and was the first to speak at least five times, you can bet you get the silent treatment on the sixth.

Dining

If you're black, you're expected to eat certain foods, colloquially called "soul food". Soul Food includes, but is not limited to: fried chicken, greens, macaroni and cheese, potato salad and sweet potato pie, just to name a few. I didn't eat many of these items growing up and was severely teased by my great grandmother's boy toys! Can you imagine having a 73 year-old man screaming at you from across the dinner table phrases such as, "Are you black boy? You bets eat boy!" I would then kick his cane to the ground so he couldn't catch me if I had to run for dear life. All of this heavy food is then consumed on paper plates. Black people use paper plates for everything. While white people's pets eat out of stainless steal dog bowls with their names etched on the side, our dog eats table food off a paper plate! Then we have the audacity to wonder why the dog has high blood pressure! Chile please.

Famous Names

If you are famous and played well known character on a television show, black people will forever call you by your character name! When Kramer was in the news for calling black people all types of niggas, white people said Michael Richards was wrong while black people were saying, "Fuck Kramer" not Michael Richards, like Kramer is a real person. Quick black people...here's a quiz: What's Tisha Campbell's name on "My Wife and Kid's?" If you guessed Gina you're wrong and if you didn't know Gina's name from Martin was Tisha Campbell, you're the reason why this is a rule. The same goes for Al Bundy, Jallel White as Urkel, Mr. Cooper and a thousand other people.This is especially true if you're a rapper!

Free Him/Her

If you're black and a family member, friend or celebrity idol gets arrested, it's your duty to wear a Free So & So tee shirt with a matching hat. Nowadays people write it on their Facebook or Twitter status updates.."Fuck the cops shit jus got real Free Tony" or Free Weezy, Free T.I, who kept going back to jail, so at least you got to wear the shirt more than once. Then we have the the infamous Free Murda Mac! Maybe it's me, but if your friend's name is Murda Mac, Murda Mizz or Murder Something , maybe his ass should be in prison, especially if he's known to murder people like his name implies. Black people should also stop using these incriminating nicknames. "This is my main man Stick-Up." I wonder what he does for a living? Or you have guys name Smoke with red eyes, that's always hungry and probably has 5 bags of weed on him 24/7. Try coming up with names that don't suggest anything like the mafia.

Church Clothes

Black people are too funny. For some strange reason, my people call business attire church clothes, as if people don't wear suits anywhere else and if you've ever called dress socks, church socks then your guilty as well. Actually, I believe this to be the reason; people who live in low income areas have jobs where they must wear uniforms and do the manual labor as opposed to wearing a suit and tie and make decisions. So when people are seen wearing slacks and a button-up shirt, it's better to assume that they're going to church and not to court, although they may be dressed for a job interview. Thinking about it now, it actually is kind of a disheartening idea but reality nonetheless.