More Bosh magic

If NBA Players were Avengers

Iron Man: There really isn't a person who exemplifies Iron Man's persona or personality, so this one is a toss up. But, I'll go with Kobe Bryant because he has the most rings, made the most money as an NBA player last year and has his fair share of Colorado women problems.

Thor: Another toss up here but, I'll say LeBron James because he's one of the strongest NBA players. And much like Thor's ability to hold out his hand and magically grab his hammer, LeBron can hold out his hands to magically get refs to give him calls.

Hawkeye: Steve Novack is Hawkeye. They're both corny looking white guys that are on the team to shot long range shots. This is the only thing either one of them will be able to do ever in life.

Black Widow: Chris Bosh is the perfect Black Widow. Because he runs like this and also like this. He's not the most masculine fellow. With all types of tongue tricks and what not, he's the perfect Black Widow!

Captain America: Kevin Love would be Captain America because he was a little scrub one year and then all of a sudden became arguably the league's best rebounder and even beat Kevin Durant in the 3 Point Shootout Contest. Someone gave him the Captain America super juice treatment.

The Incredible Hulk: No doubt, this person is Metta World Peace. Bruce Banner turns into The Incredible Hulk when angry and Metta World Peace turns into Ron Artest. And his secret is that he's always angry. He starts off normal and then you can sense the transformation taking hold.

Bonus:

Green Lantern: Rondo would be the perfect Green Lantern. His jersey is green, he's small--compared to other players at least--and he already looks like some type of alien. I was thinking LeBron but we all know why he can't be Green Lantern; he doesn't have a ring!

Daredevil: Javale McGee is Daredevil. He just is a natural daredevil and I personally think that he doesn't think at all when he's on the court. He just does things like this!

Superman: Superman is indestructible unless you have kryptonite,  much like Dwight Howard, only difference is Dwight Howard's kryptonite is his offensive game! He even uses Superman as his nickname as a testament to his understanding of his own wackness!

And here's Chris Bosh's Avengers cameo!!


 

Jeremy Lin

Jeremy Lin's Secret

More Music

I wanted to share some more music finds. One is a mash-up including Adele and Daft Punk and the other is a mixtape from Quest--an artist from Miami. Enjoy!

1. Something About The Fire - Adele x Daft Punk (Carlos Serrano Mix)

2. Fear Not Failure Mixtape - QuESt

Entertained to Death

How important is the need to be entertained? At what point should people want to actually get off their ass and make a difference in the world around them? The Trayvon Martin story has once again catapulted the idea of racial injustice to the collective forefront of everyone's mind. For beginners, people should realize that certain trends are not okay to simply "follow". I understand how wearing a "hoodie" is a great way to raise national awareness about the situation, but raising awareness is just the beginning of the fight. The ultimate goal is to never have a crime like this committed in America again. Many feel like they've done their part by changing their Facebook profile picture or sharing a video. This immediately brings to mind the "KONY 2012" campaign that went viral. People jumped on their moral high horses and pleaded with their cyber buddies to watch the documentary. Instead of most people actually being moved to educate themselves further than watching one video, many people accepted everything shown as truth, even though there was much more background information to be understood. Therein lies the problem; people have no genuine interest to learn about the world around them until a problem occurs. There's no one course in school or documentary that will provide enough knowledge about any topic.

However, referring back to the Trayvon Martin story, people did just that. People turned on the news, wore a "hoodie", updated their Facebook statuses, and then went on their merry way, back to their regular lives. Not too long ago, November 2011 to be exact, a black veteran was shot dead by police officers. Click the link for the following story...
http://www.democracynow.org/2012/3/29/killed_at_home_white_plains_ny

This story went almost unheard in the public sphere. Once again, an innocent black man, shot dead! I feel as though changing our course as a country can only be done by educating ourselves, one another, and especially, our children. In this technological age, one would think that getting information to people would be rather easy, and it is, but the information that's shared on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and the like, is usually trivial nonsense, merely there for entertainment. Many believe that watching television news--a profit making corporation, controlled by a handful of people--serves as the most realistic and factual way in educating themselves. This remains a huge error on the part of the people. I can give thousands of examples of disinformation, propaganda, and outright lies that appear on "The News", but I digress. The quandary with watching the news, and  visiting some websites, is the fact that they too become ways of consuming entertainment rather than education.

I always hear black people, friends and family, complain about being misrepresented on television; whether it's a movie, show, or a music video. Interestingly enough, most of them will continue to watch that very channel and support the very show they claim depicts them so negatively. According to many, the reasons behind murders, such as Trayvon's, are due to racial stereotypes that people all over the globe see on television. Let's revisit the question posed earlier, "How important is it to be entertained?" Especially entertainment that may cause a David Zimmerman to stereotype a Trayvon Martin and unjustly execute him! Do we need to digest so much of this entertainment on a daily bases, that also teaches young kids to imitate and idolize. I always hear, "This show makes us (black people) look so bad, but it's entertaining." I loathe that comment because it suggests that it's okay for other people to see us act a fool, fight and bicker, but it's acceptable because it's "entertaining". Many will be entertained to death, literally, only to realize that you didn't like the way the world treated you based on what the world saw on a television screen.

Hypocrisy is the most fitting adjective. A Facebook friend of mine had a status strongly criticizing some Trayvon Supporters, and made a very valid point. Her argument was a challenge to mindset that many embody. She asked, and I'm paraphrasing, how can we as black people be so upset one minute, when a black person is murdered, when we shoot and kill each other in our own neighborhoods and tell each other "Don't Snitch". Let's get someone if they kill us, but let's not help people next door to us find justice when we have information. Can you imagine someone who knew the truth behind the Trayvon Martin murder knowing exactly what happened and then responding with, "I'm not a snitch, so I don't talk to cops." Asking for justice one minute and purposefully denying justice to each other. I'm not suggesting all musicians, actors and directors cease talking about, or displaying violence in their art, but at what point does one draw the line, when blacks continue to be victimized in America.

The Feeling of Life

You haven't felt alive until you've been dragged to a bedroom's corner, curled in a ball, all in a bawl, crying, sobbing, until your head aches, your heart hurts and eye's swollen from sorrow.

You haven't felt alive until you wanted to die, jump into the mystery of the unknown, thoughts of silencing yourself, with voices screaming from the inside, desperately trying to not feel desperate.

You haven't felt alive until you had no idea where your next meal was coming from, walking the streets in a daze, eyes glazed, dreams torn to shreds, days spent in bed, waiting to be awaken.

You feel most alive when you're approaching death, ready to die, feeling all sorts of emotions, joy comes and goes, sorrow comes and refuses to leave, choking on your last reason to breath...

When's the last time you felt alive?

I'm doing too much living now, these feelings, I feel them, Lord how I feel them. We need an escape baby. Waiting for the escape baby.

Top 5 Aspects of the American Dream

1. Go to College

This is the beginning of your quest for the American Dream. However, tuition prices are fucking sky high, Charlie Sheen good blow high! So after you enroll and register for classes, your next stop is Sallie Mae or any company that will give you a $20,000 loan for a college that costs $8,000. Refund check ballin'! Why use that extra money for books and school supplies when you can go shopping and buy all the latest fashion trends. Although you'll be in debt for years and years to come, you must get a degree for your dream job!

2. Get a Career

The degree you just purchased will most likely be in a different field then the one you're working in, but hey, you got your job! Now it's probably a job you'll end up hating, co-workers you hate working with and a boss you hate working for! You'll be expected to work 60 hour weeks for a promotion, that will probably end up going to someone else with more "experience". This career may also end abruptly, due to the fact that they can fire you at anytime or lay you off for any reason. However, you need this career in order to pay off that student loan and to put a down payment on your very own brand new home!

3. Home Ownership

Wow! Your very own house, in the suburbs, with the white picket fence and the dog fucking the cat in the living room! Unfortunately, the house may be too expensive to buy out right, meaning you'll be visiting another bank to take out a mortgage that will also be coupled with your student loan debt! Yes, you are living way beyond your means but this is America, don't worry about it, we have credit! Hopefully, you'll be able to pay off your mortgage before you die and leave your kids with an enormous debt, but you do need this house in order to start your very own, first or second, family!

4. Get Married

This is the next step after buying your pretty piece of framed paper, otherwise known as a degree, and starting your 60 hour a week job and having a home! Now it's time to find a girl/guy that you can take home to meet your folks. You must find a spouse that you're willing to spend a lifetime with, although there's a 50% chance that it'll end in divorce. Take the chance and jump the broom! And if you have money and you don't stay together, you'll see that 50% come up again, but this time it'll represent how much the judge forces you to pay your wife! So try picking someone who won't drive you too crazy and make you want to kill them! Picking someone that's somewhat smart and attractive is a huge plus, in order to have kids that don't look like Frankenstein.

5. Have Kids

Procreation! This is your chance to finally have a kid that's not out of wedlock! No baby-mama drama for you Mr. Family Man! There's nothing more important than having a kid and passing on your legacy and the family name. In addition to that, our economy needs you to make babies in order to maintain this bullshit system. They need a constant flow of workers and consumers and also enough kids that want to join the military and go off to some desert and die for rich people's interests! So keep fucking you fuckers!

The American Dream! Wow! What a beautiful, well conceived idea for how to run a country. Chase after over priced material goods and work for a company, making them vasts amounts of money. Fight and die for a country that will throw you in a rundown, dirty, veteran hospital with no health care or leave you homeless on the streets, at least they tell you how proud they are of you and give you all sorts of pretty medals and colored ribbons! Live in a country where everyone hates everyone else--straight people dislike gays, old people dislike young folk, educated people hate uneducated people, blacks hate whites, Americans hate immigrants, Iphone users hate Android users and the like. So keep dreaming, because they're companies that are making good amounts of money from it!

Top 5 Black People Rules

Let me be clear, people of all races also actively engage in these rules; black people just tend to abide by these rules more often than not. These rules aren't taught, but automatically understood at black birth and accepted as a way of life. I will admit that some of these rules are ridiculous and weird, but nonetheless, these are the rules. Some of us grown black folk realize that these rules are child's play and choose to disregard them. Disregarding these rules, however, are sure to get negative attention drawn your way and accused of not really being black!

P.S. Touching a black person's radio is a law not a rule!

Communication

Black people will say hello but WILL NOT always be the first person to do so, You may have heard a black person say something like, "Ohh, they gonna act like they don't see me." Meaning they're growing tired of saying good morning to said person, especially because they just walked by and didn't speak and were aware of the black person's presence. I'll tell non-black reader's a secret...we aren't as angry as television make us out to be! I was taught to say hello when entering a room, especially entering a person's home.But if we see you in the streets and was the first to speak at least five times, you can bet you get the silent treatment on the sixth.

Dining

If you're black, you're expected to eat certain foods, colloquially called "soul food". Soul Food includes, but is not limited to: fried chicken, greens, macaroni and cheese, potato salad and sweet potato pie, just to name a few. I didn't eat many of these items growing up and was severely teased by my great grandmother's boy toys! Can you imagine having a 73 year-old man screaming at you from across the dinner table phrases such as, "Are you black boy? You bets eat boy!" I would then kick his cane to the ground so he couldn't catch me if I had to run for dear life. All of this heavy food is then consumed on paper plates. Black people use paper plates for everything. While white people's pets eat out of stainless steal dog bowls with their names etched on the side, our dog eats table food off a paper plate! Then we have the audacity to wonder why the dog has high blood pressure! Chile please.

Famous Names

If you are famous and played well known character on a television show, black people will forever call you by your character name! When Kramer was in the news for calling black people all types of niggas, white people said Michael Richards was wrong while black people were saying, "Fuck Kramer" not Michael Richards, like Kramer is a real person. Quick black people...here's a quiz: What's Tisha Campbell's name on "My Wife and Kid's?" If you guessed Gina you're wrong and if you didn't know Gina's name from Martin was Tisha Campbell, you're the reason why this is a rule. The same goes for Al Bundy, Jallel White as Urkel, Mr. Cooper and a thousand other people.This is especially true if you're a rapper!

Free Him/Her

If you're black and a family member, friend or celebrity idol gets arrested, it's your duty to wear a Free So & So tee shirt with a matching hat. Nowadays people write it on their Facebook or Twitter status updates.."Fuck the cops shit jus got real Free Tony" or Free Weezy, Free T.I, who kept going back to jail, so at least you got to wear the shirt more than once. Then we have the the infamous Free Murda Mac! Maybe it's me, but if your friend's name is Murda Mac, Murda Mizz or Murder Something , maybe his ass should be in prison, especially if he's known to murder people like his name implies. Black people should also stop using these incriminating nicknames. "This is my main man Stick-Up." I wonder what he does for a living? Or you have guys name Smoke with red eyes, that's always hungry and probably has 5 bags of weed on him 24/7. Try coming up with names that don't suggest anything like the mafia.

Church Clothes

Black people are too funny. For some strange reason, my people call business attire church clothes, as if people don't wear suits anywhere else and if you've ever called dress socks, church socks then your guilty as well. Actually, I believe this to be the reason; people who live in low income areas have jobs where they must wear uniforms and do the manual labor as opposed to wearing a suit and tie and make decisions. So when people are seen wearing slacks and a button-up shirt, it's better to assume that they're going to church and not to court, although they may be dressed for a job interview. Thinking about it now, it actually is kind of a disheartening idea but reality nonetheless.

Music: My Finds

I recently stumbled upon two dope artists! This blog is to highlight the artists Dan Black and Aloe Blacc. Be prepared for an interesting take on a Biggie song and a music video with a very talented kid dancer...enjoy!

Truth in a Nursery Rhyme

Row, row, row your boat
gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
life is but a dream.

This simple nursery rhyme can actually serve as a great mantra to live by. This is my interpretation of the rhyme!

The boat symbolizes one's self and the rowing, which takes skill and practice, can be interpreted as the hard work needed to keep one's self afloat. This can be hard work in terms of making money to survive or hard work needed to perfect your craft and chase after your dreams!

"Gently down the stream" can be linked to the slow and steady movement of time, which takes you from one life experience to the next; through the life cycle of baby, child, man and human death.

It's also noted to row merrily. This is a reminder not to take life too seriously, accept all challenges and experiences with a smile and lightheartedness. It's important to keep a cheerful spirit because LIFE IS BUT A DREAM! The world consists of many illusions that we have been taught to accept as reality. Our waking reality is akin to a sleeping dream. When we dream, our physical senses still work; we see, hear, and touch things even though there isn't any "real" external stimulus. So here's the question...Is what we experience in wakefulness really there the way we experience it?

"Once upon a time, I, Chuang Chou, dreamt I was a butterfly, fluttering hither and thither, to all intents and purposes a butterfly. I was conscious only of my happiness as a butterfly, unaware that I was Chou. Soon I awaked, and there I was, veritably myself again. Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly, dreaming I am a man." - Zhuangzi

We also can feel regular human emotions while asleep dreaming. We can be happy, scared or feel any other number of emotions; only when we awake do we feel relieved because we know that the experience of our dream wasn't "real". This can also be used when contemplating the many stresses of life such as the need for money, having responsibilities, work, jobs, kids, family, etc. These all can make one feel burnt out and stressed out. However, when we "awake" we see these things are not reality, but merely tools we have to interact with this physical life.

It's like that scene in The Matrix when Morpheus asks Neo what he thinks constitutes reality. Morpheus says, "If reality is the things you can see, touch, smell and hear then reality is nothing more than electrical signals interpreted by your brain." Conversely, our senses only give us a limited grasp of the world around us. So remember to have fun, live freely and never forget that life is only a dream!

The Guy's Perspective on Cheating

Why do men cheat? Why do men get caught cheating more often than women? Why do men claim they could never be with a girl if he knew he cheated on her? These questions all have simple answers and also weird rationale. Today we'll get into the murky waters of one night stands and the guy's perspective on cheating. For the females viewpoint, be sure to visit the talented Lauren Zapata's blog at www.laurenzapata.wordpress.com.

Men can be dogs, plain and simple. Men can be irrational, horny ass dogs. Men say things like, "Baby, I just had sex with her but I make love to you." Surprisingly, men don't like explanations like that coming from their girlfriends. Here's how it happens for guys...Guy is drunk walking home, sees a girl that is going in the same direction and tries having sex with her. Or, guy falls down in a parking lot, the attendant asks if he's okay, he then tries having sex with her. Guy goes to the store to buy groceries, asks a lady if she needs help lifting a bag of dog food, she says yes, he thinks that his chance to bone her.

It's simple, unprovoked and most importantly, no emotional connection. Truthfully, a guy never wants to see a girl he cheated with ever again or any girl he sleeps with and isn't attracted to for that matter. Sometimes guys go out looking to get into trouble but mostly its due to being around a pretty girl using bad judgement or being around an ugly girl highly intoxicated.

Not only does he sleep with that ugly hillbilly, but he gets caught in the act. A lot of women don't understand how their boyfriends could cheat on them with such an unattractive girl; just reread the previous two paragraphs. But how do they get caught? Here's how...girlfriend wants to go to a bar, guy says no, she wonders why, he makes up some stupid excuse like the air smells funny, they walk by the restaurant and the girl comes out and says hello, now the girlfriend expects something. Next scenario, the girl goes through the guys phone and reads a very telltale text like, "Baby last night was amazing...I love whip cream now lol", when he told his girl that he was at work late or the guy leaves his Facebook account open and his girl sees messages and chats with other girls or veered yet, the guy gets caught at his own place thinking his girl was going to be elsewhere.

Guys basically tell on themselves and are not clever enough creating stories to cover their tracks, something women are great at. Women will introduce her boyfriend to the guy she cheated on him with and will act as if nothing ever happened, how cold-hearted!

Many men claim that they couldn't stay in a relationship with an unfaithful female partner but there's two sides to that story. Either it's true and the guy will threaten to hurt a girl if he finds out she cheated on him because some men are psychos. I think men have this huge problem with wanting to control women that they do and say stupid things, trying to scare a woman to stay with him. On the other hand its rubbish. Some guys will stick with a girl no matter what! When men fall, they fall hard. Guys like this I truly feel sorry for and I think that's why most men try to hide their emotions.

It is true there is a double standard and guys use this one to their advantage. Accusing women of being whores if they sleep around but getting respect if they do it. Men usually don't worry about letting his girl hang around other guys, as long as they aren't sleeping around. Men can't handle the physical aspect of cheating, they can deal with the emotional aspect of it.

Interview Tips from Everest College

Most of these tips would seem like common sense to many. I guess Everest College wants to wow their future students by showing them that they have insight on landing that dream job! After reading these tips by Everest College, I wonder how I ever was able to find employment.

1. Arrive on time! If you're unable to get to arrive on time, try to at least be no longer than five minutes late. Usually employers will give employees a five minute cushion without any negative repercussions, but remember, you're not employed yet.

2. Give them your real name, no nicknames. This include rap names, middle names or your Spike Lee name. Jesus is Ray Allen's Spike Lee name, we all have one, mine is Squeeze. Also no aliases, that means don;t give them the name that you give to the police.

3. Bring a pencil and sharpener. Pens may run out of ink, forcing you to scribble tirelessly in circles on the side of the job application trying to get those BIC pens to work. We recommend the sharpeners because previously pointed pencils may break while being in your pocket. I mean how else would you carry a pencil to an interview?

4. Bring two forms of identification, such as a passport application and a bill with your name and CURRENT address. For illegals, just have the utmost confidence that they don't ask for id or that your fakes check out!

5. Use correct grammar and make sure to enunciate. It's very important to make sure that the person interviewing you knows when one sentence stops and another starts. We suggest saying the word period to end sentences that the interviewer may be unaware you're going to end. Example: "I'm the best person for this job period" And it gives you swag!

6. Be sure to tell them you graduated from Everest College and that dream job as accountant, assistant, manager or even CEO will be yours! With Everest, you're on the fast track!

5 Worst Public Transportation Passengers

Having to ride public transportation everyday to work sucks, actually, riding in the train or bus sucks in general. Mainly on public transportation, I read, listen to music or play games on my phone, anything to not focus on the jerk next to me! And yes, the people who ride public transportation can be jerks, bums, stinks, skanks, misfits, troublemakers, hooligans and a lot of other adjectives. Typically, one can enjoy a ride on the train without a problem but sometimes you run into these folks...

5. Dancers & Dealers

You run into these people on the train more times than not and they are annoying as hell. First off the Dealers, always got something to sell for some basketball team they claim to coach. "Excuse me Ladies and Gentlemen but I am raising money by selling old ass candy that nobody wants for two dollars a piece. I coach an inner city youth basketball team and I need to raise money so they can play and have team jerseys like the other kids. Whatever you're willing to spare, I appreciate it...Thank you in advance"! First off, never thank me in advance you shoeless hoe! People say thanks in advance like I owe them the favor, well if you thank me in advance I have no incentive to do the favor later. Secondly, if you are the coach, with one braid in your head and the rest out in a fro with two left sneakers one the same foot and carrying a dirty duffle bag, I'd say it be time for you to retire from your dusty ass career. If you are the coach, which I highly doubt you are, I'd wouldn't want my kid playing under your guidance, so beat it scum.

Dancers are no better. Always got a song and dance that both sucks and sucks. If you're gonna sing and dance I want your ass practicing everyday to get the timing down right and you better not forget one lyric! They crip walk through the train singing how their President is black and for this I should give them a quarter. Well if you had a quarter of talent I would, but since you don't, I won't. Come dance by me if you want and I'll push your Harlem Shaking ass onto the train tracks.

4. The Rapper

I hate this person the most! You've all seen him or her, but usually it's a guy. He's the dude on the train or bus with the music blasting, bopping his big head to the beat of the song. The worst part is when they sporadically start reciting lyrics. The bus will be dead silent and then you here something like "Fuck that bitch cuz I carries the full clip." What, sir!?! And then it gets silent again and you hear, "Moving heavy weight like in every state." And he just keeps on bopping along, swaying into your leg and shit. SMH. Just sit your ass down and remain quiet! It's also funny how the appearance of headphones can make someone not look crazy. If you seen someone with headphones (people who are usually lip-singing the song or bopping their heads) without the headphones but acting as if the headphones were on, you would think they were crazy! If somebody just screamed out a Nicki Minaj rap lyric with no headphones on, you would think they were bat shit crazy. However, wearing $500 Dre Beats makes them normal!

3. Ninja

The ninja is quick and at times very slow, to the point it upsets you. You ever walk to an open seat only to have somebody rush by you and steal the seat! Damn son, this ain't Musical Chairs. Or you're about to walk on the bus or train and they run by and squeeze past you to get on first, as if the train or bus doesn't stop to let people on?? Then you try getting off the bus or train and the same person is now taking forever to walk through the door, like I don't have to transfer...move your slow-fast ass!

2. The Crazies

It's always a crazy person on the train, rarely on the bus but always on the train. I think many of them never walk up to the surface, they just sit on the train and bother people. I ran into a guy who kept saying, "Jets, Dolphins" then he would pause and scream "Kick Ass". I was trying so hard not to laugh but I just couldn't help it. It's funny because the other passengers start to look at each other and make faces, trying not to look the crazy in the eye. Once a crazy sees you look him into the face, it's on! He'll curse you out, your family out, your God out, your pet out, that only he can see by the way. And you don't want to get up and move because the thought of him following you is disturbing, so you just sit idly by, pretending not to hear but he knows you hear him!

1. Stinks

It is nothing worst in the world then a stink on your bus or train ride home. I would rather have a child with Casey Anthony then have to ride everyday, to and fro, with a stink! The worst part is when the stink is in remission and the smell suddenly appears! Everyone starts to cover their nose and you find people looking at you, silently accusing you of being the stink. Oh no!! I look at them and start fanning my personal air, to let them know that I smell it also and to show that it isn't me! I start to yawn or stretch to also indicate that my underarms are free of any rotten smells, but sometimes they still look at you and back away. Sometimes I just want to scream, "Hey bitch, it's not me, maybe it's you!" These stinks can be hidden, causing all kinds of turmoil. Sometimes though it is evident who the stink is on the ride! Nobody sits next to him or her, and the stink knows they stink but they usually don't care. It's hard to imagine a human smelling like a dogs butt fart mixed with shit from all animals but they find out how to get it done! Worse still is when a stink is standing in front of you and has the ball sweating audacity to reach up and grab the top rail for balance. Oh, you stinking piece of human flesh! I vow to punch that person in the ribs if it ever happens again!

The Coonie's - BiLLy Swagner x Morrow Damour

Happy New Year's! 2012's first blog is an award show called "The Coonie's" which highlights coonish behavior all around the globe during the past year. There's finally an award show that gives credit to ignorant, idiotic celebs that showcase their natural born dubmbassedness! I'm making that a word to describe these folk!

According to Urban Dictionary's third definition, yes the third one, a coon is a black actor or actress, who takes roles that stereotypically portrays black people. They think they've made it but they are slaves to the same images. But we'll be expanding on that definition as follows: any person who stereotypically portray themselves purposefully in a negative light or parade around looking for acceptance by another group, either racial, religious or otherwise. Sports, television, politics, film and music are littered with dimwitted monkey's and a winner will be crowned in each category. So without further to do, I bring to you...The Coonie's!


Sports


1. Sammy Sosa

You know you done fucked up right!?! So former Chicago Cub player Sammy Sosa decided he was tired of being brown skin and threw some Clorox on his face. From corked bats to steriods, we all knew Sammy was use to cheating but trying to sneak inside The White Race by bleaching his skin was a bad move! No bueno senor!


2. Michael Jordan

The all-time great basketball player is a piss-poor humanitarian. It's true that he worked hard and blah, blah, blah, but he currently makes millions and millions of dollars by selling the same shoe to idiots, whom sit outside out of Footlocker days before the sneaker's release. But how many times have you senn Jordan give a speech at an inner city school or donate money to any one of the trillion basketball camps in Brooklyn or Chicago or anywhere for that matter? Jordan demanded millions of dollars as a player and rightfully so but now that he's an NBA owner of the Bobcat's, he's saying that player's should be gratefully and let the owner's make their money! Kinda dirty homie!

http://www.cbssports.com/mcc/blogs/entry/22748484/33209166


3. Tiger Woods

This fake ass black monkey makes me sick. Although his BLACK father taught how to play golf, he doesn't admit or acknowledge his black heritage. Recently he was caught cheating on his wife with 105 different white women...http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/hear-tiger-panic-to-mistress-my-wife-may-be-calling-you-2009212

You right, this was huge and she did call that hoe, serves ya punk ass right! Not only did she call you but she chased ya ass out the house with a golf club and made you crash into a tree, I guess this was the Asian inside controlling the car.

Winner: Sammy Sosa's fake white ass. Lookin like a big ass tube of Colgate, you sicken me.



Television/Film


1. Tyler Perry

I personally hate him and Madea. If I see another Madea goes here, Madea's big this, Madea's big that, I'm going to kill myself. How about Madea Goes to Hell and Burn Forever. He takes every stereotype of angry black women and throws it in a play with bad jokes and then re-releases the same shit in movie theaters! And then, he came out with a crap ass television show with the same stupid nonsense.

2. Taraji P. Henson

I actually like Taraji Henson as an actress but I don't know what the hell she was thinking to agree to perform this number at the Oscar's...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9j2wTR49Ec

The Oscar's are typically attended by predominately by white actor's, screenwriters and director's. It's hard to fathom that any one of them wanted to see or hear this coonery, probably only to laugh at what some black people would do for a check. Three 6 Mafia please quit, hang up the mic and don't ever rap again, don;t even freestyle in the shower. This was some stereotypical black foolishness. I can't even watch the video again to give commentary because it's just too idiotic.

3. Terrence Howard

First of all I dislike Terrence Howard due to his sub-par acting ability.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9j2wTR49Ec

He also had a problem with Tyler Perry doing Madea but then turned around and put out Hustle & Flow. I never seen the movie but from the looks of previews I'm pretty sure it was about a wannabe rapper who had an afro with a perm and only wore wife beaters!

Winner: Tyler Perry - He's actually a double coon for bieng himself, Tyler and also as Madea the Ghetto Ass Black Grandma who smokes weed and carries a gun in her pocket book but loves the lord.

New Coon Award

Herman Cain

I absolutely hate this punk ass politician. Here's a clip showing our man Cain spit that Coon Knowledge.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLt6c-lhCww

He's Anti-Barack! How can you say something like racism doesn't hold people back when the jail systems are full of black people literally being held back. It's true that many that are incarcerated do commit crimes, BUT, many blacks, as well as Hispanics receive more time for the same crime. Example: Connor (white kid) is caught with three grams of cocaine, sentenced to a month probation and his record cleaned. Tyriq (black kid) gets caught with a dime bag of Mary J and his thrown in prison for two years with no parole and his voting abilities stripped away. Since Tyriq may be unemployed, the judge says that Tyriq intended on selling that nickle bag of green and he should be punished! Blah, blah, blah. I had some blacks work at my pizzeria and that's how I know racism doesn't exist. In another interview Cain claims that Wall Street wasn't responsible for this horrible economy. What? He basically is saying, "Hello Rich Men, see how I get on my knees for you, I love this kinda work"! So I guess predatory lending, the housing bubble, deregulation of the housing market and Wall Street, with their use of derivatives had nothing to do with anything! AIG, Freddie Mac and others just made some bad business decisions, went bankrupt, threw people out of homes and then got bailed out by American taxpayer's only to have their salaries tripled and bonuses double? Yes, on second thought that's just good old American Capitalism at work...the rich capitalize off the poor!

Lifetime Achievement

Clarence Thomas

This is basically Herman Cain but much more sinister! He was appointed Supreme Judge by the one and only black people-lover George W. Bush! He's against things like affirmative action but not against sexual abuse, just ask Anita Hill. He then married a white women who was both a Republican and also Tea Party advocate named Virginia; even his wife had to be named after a Southern State. It's too much to say in too little time, just read up on this lifetime great coon!

Never Drink Wrey & Nephews

It was an ordinary Saturday or Friday night and we were all headed to the BBQ. It was a good mix of food, Jamaicans in white linen and too much alcohol. After some last minute party jacking, we hit the road to return home.

The car was filled with loud voices, people screaming to be heard so Emma said, "Why are you guys so loud?" I responded saying something stupid as I generally do! Something like, "What are you the noise police?" So everyone else was like its not that serious man chill out. But for some reason it was serious at that specific time it was very serious, serious enough to throw a plate of food out of a moving car window whilst on the highway, yes whilst. I figured I show them how serious it was by throwing a plate of Jerk Chicken that Mad Dog and I had to argue with some Jamaican to get.

I'm not gonna lie and say I thought any further than that because...I didn't! Everybody in the car said what the hell is wrong with you and I think, o say I think, Mad Dog pushed me but I'm not sure, could've been that Wrey & Nephews playing tricks on my mind. So Wrey said, "Who pushed you?" Nephews didn't wait for an answer, so I punched Mad Dog whilst Emma Sat there in the middle. So Mad Dog hits back and Emma is caught in the middle. The driver pulls to the side of the road whilst Mad Dog and I are still pushing each other and I'm pushing Emma trying to push him and it was cray. The driver told me to walk home but when you gone off that W&N it doesn't matter so I says, "Pull over damn it, I ain't scared to walk." Again I'm on some highway some where with Wrey in my system! I probably would've been hit by a sandwich truck or something, but I love that Monkey Meat.

Mad Dog and Emma hop out the car and I just sat there. Don't know what the hell I was thinking, so Mad Dog opens the door and proceeds to hit me in the nose. The only defense I could muster up was placing my open hand in front of my nose, so that Mad Dog punches was hitting my hand then hitting my nose, that Floyd Mayweather defense. Mad Dog must have thought I had Pickley's on my pinky or something because he bit me. It was the rage of a thousand Haitians in that bite, he channeled his ancestors to give him force. I felt Romel in them teeth (inside joke). Immediately I yelped, "Ouch the nigga bit me!" I wanted to bite his ass back (no homosexual) but at that point I realized this had gone way too far. End scene. And by end scene I mean I don't remember what happened next.

The next thing I know, I'm pinned down on the grass by Mad Dog. I wasn't fighting back at this point because I had given up, plus the fact I couldn't move, Mad Dog was just too heavy. RIP Heavy D. The cops came screaming at me, The Driver is screaming at me the Indian-Looking Girl is looking at me with her Indian-Looking looking eyes. I remember saying something to The Driver like go home and smoke your pot weed head which was such a gay thing to say but I couldn't come up with anything at the time. The cops threw cuffs on me and everyone except Emma went home.

After explaining the difference between a scientist and a mechanic, whom I, Mad Dog and Positive Brother Hakeem had been discussing earlier, the cops let me go. Emma and I took a very quiet, super quiet, deathly quiet ride back. I knew I was tripping so I planned on apologizing, as I said, when my fingers were bit I knew it went too far. So we get back and I apologize and everything is starting to die down and then The Driver says to me, "You got something you want to get off ya chest nigga?" That hurt, especially coming from a girl, so I responded saying this and that trying to make her feel like I felt. Too mean to type, I didn't mean it. I do remember The Gypsy staring at me with her wide Gypsy eyes.

The Driver and The Indian Girl went home and there I was talking to Mad Dog. Again the situation got heated. Mad Dog had previously mentioned me getting jumped if something happened and said it again, and I, feeling threatened, had to say something. I remember, I said, "I'll call Pookie but Pookie name is Tyriq and he'll get all of y'all!" He replied, "I got niggas at 7-11, which coincidentally is seven to eleven minutes away from Mad Dogs house by foot, unless you're running, it may be like 5 minutes, anyways, he says by the time Tyriq come you gonna be done for, which is true. The commute was just too much, even without traffic, for Tyriq to come save me. Truth is, I do know the kid but I don't have his number, never did and probably never will but Mad Dog didn't know that. We not even friends on Facebook. I would've just went to the garage and slept on the bench. Emma's twin got fed up and walked away saying I needed to grow up and left me and Mad Dog talking on the couch. He asked a bunch of questions that I lied to, trying to make him mad. And the night was over but not the story.

The next day, I woke up and left, limping to the bus station and who do I see but Emma's twin. Had to look twice to confer, but yes it was her. I always joke about her being a drug dealer but this day was no joke. She pulled up to a car dealership but didn't get out the car and I think she turned the lights off, so naturally, being where I'm from, I thought she was going to shoot me. I tried to lean on a nearby pole to rest my poor leg just in case I had to run for my life, I already had a route, I was going to run against traffic on Merrick and make a left on Roeckel or whatever the hell that street is named. Fortunately, Emmas twin drove off and Beyonce Jr. gave me a ride to the train because the N4 fucking sucks!

It was a horrible night, one of the worst ever in my life for the sole purpose of disappointing myself. It's not a good feeling when you disappoint ya damn self. All in all I learned a lot of things, the main one being what the title says, "Never drink Wrey & Nephews."

This Life Isn't for Me

Jobs, taxes, student loans with interest rates, wars, genocide, ecocide, homicides, suicide.

Alarm clocks, religions, credit cards, bills, rape, starvation, prejudices, racism, sexism, patriotism...why are school children forced to pledge allegiance to a country that pleads allegiance only with the Almighty...Dollar? The United Corporations of America!

Gender roles, old people homes, homeless folk, psychological warfare, pills that kill, politicians that lie, conformity...why do parents teach their kids to do what everyone else does? Go to school, get this type of job, marry this type of girl, follow this type of Faith, listen to this type of music, and claim they want their children to be independent.

Sometimes I get tired of trying, I don't care any longer to be understood. Can't even escape because there's nowhere to run, especially when one has to be at work early tomorrow. Luckily I have people who try to push me forward and believe I can achieve this dream, I appreciate them.

Poverty, robbery, lies, corruption, its so disgusting. Hopefully I'm not reincarnated and sent back here because dealing with this life, no way do I want to live it twice. Mentally trapped, corporate slaves working for a minimum wage but expected to give maximum effort, going along with countless other zombie drones that fill the buses and ride the trains, I'm going crazy in the world and you all think I'm sane. Invisible tears falling from a formless face, please God please, help me escape this place...

Top 5 YouTube Videos You May Have Never Seen

YouTube is filled with pointless shit. Some videos garner cult followings and reach millions and millions of views. Here we have a few that you may have never seen, so I took the liberty of searching high and low for the funniest clips you may have never seen!

1. Upset Asian Restaurant Caller

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYqr3aM-oxc
and
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNtILw4q5yc&feature=relmfu

2. Hold My D*ck

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2GO55sJTZM
and
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sg6QxvU5BxE&feature=related

3. The Honey Badger

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIyfCtYQz6s

4. Charlie Murphy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-tpzA4wt_o

5.Super Hot Spitta

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BrkmIqUXck&feature=relmfu
and
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hOaQtQqRnI

The Fight

I let out silent screams
Tearless cries
With restless nights

Out of breath chasing my dreams
Loving the way I hate myself
Being slowly forced to self destruct

Going nowhere fast, been moving forever
With my bags packed
Yet no destination on my path

Searching for a secret I keep hidden from myself
The darkness remains my only light.
I'm done with this struggle, too tired to fight

Conflicts, but no resolutions.
I'm a poor man with so much wealth.
Trying to come out victorious in this battle I fight against myself.

Samuel L. Jackson

Samuel L. Jackson is the highest grossing actor in history. Reportedly, his films have earned $7.5 Billion worldwide. A great feat by any actor indeed. While this may seem like a surprise to some, it isn't to me, because I know Samuel L. Jackson has acted in at least three billion movies! From Coach Carter, The Other Guys, Coming to America, Star Wars and The Avengers just to name a few of the billion. Many may not know this, but Samuel L. Jackson is a former drug addict that when struggling to book gigs, turned to crack. Luckily, his career took off and he has become a prominent actor in Hollywood, unlike many other crackheads.

I think that is a huge part of his success, crack! He has a crackhead work ethic! Smokers will do any job, no matter how risky or dangerous in record speed. Need your gutters cleaned? Crackhead at your service! Need your basement floor installed? Crackhead will do the job! Toilet clogged? Crackhead will fix it with their bare hands! Samuel L. Jackson works movies the same way. Need an actor to keep a white girl on a chain? Sam will do it. Need someone to be startled about muthafuckin snakes on some muthafuckin plane? Sam go it. I don't believe he has ever turned down a role in his career. He works movie after movie, sometimes shooting two at a time. That's talent!

Don't get me wrong, the man has classics under his belt like Reservoir Dogs, but also has movies like Deep Blue. You probably have thirty Samuel L. Jackson movies in your collection and never noticed it. Eight out of ten movies starring a black actor, Samuel L. Jackson is in that movie. Movies, video games, television shows, and all, he's everywhere. He just collected my trash last week and he's supposed to be starting quarterback this Sunday in Miami! Is there anything Samuel L. Jackson can't do?

No. The answer is no. That wasn't rhetorical, he can do everything!

Changes in Question

At what point does love become lust,
At what point does doing something become a must?

At what point does ambition become greed,
At what point does what you want become what you need?

At what point does a friend become family,
At what point does being really concerned become jealously?

At what point does someone become sexy, not just cute
At what point does a lie become truth?

At what point does confidence become cockiness,
At what point does having nice things become opulence?

At what point does being frugal become cheap,
At what point do mindless people become sheep?

At what point does not knowing become ignorance,
At what point of ignorance does one achieve bliss?

At what point did we forget about the children & neglect the future?
At what point are we willing to stop turning jobs over to a computer?

At what point will we stop violence on this Earth,
At what point did the gift of life become a curse?

At what point will we go to attain more & more stuff,
At what point will people realize enough is just enough?

At what point does disagreements become war,
At what point will people not take it anymore?